Friday, December 21, 2007

Hopefully a sign of things to come!

I have just completed my second week of non-stress tests. Only 8 more weeks to go. Every time I go in for a non-stress test I'm always told that the baby looks good and is cooperating very well. I have not been hooked up to the monitors for more than 20 minutes, which is the shortest amount of time for a NST.

The first time I went with this baby the nurse told me that the baby was doing well probably because I had eaten a snack before seeing my doctor. She suggested that I schedule my appointments for a time of day when I have recently eaten. So far it's a great trick! I talked to the nurse about it today and she said that it's best to go in when my blood sugars are stable and I have recently eaten. If I go in at a time when I tend to run high then the baby is too sleepy. She also said that another trick they do to wake up a sleepy baby is have the mother drink ice water. The baby feels the cold in the stomach and perks up. Weird huh! I love all the crazy things I learn about unborn babies when I'm pregnant.

The nurse finished her "lecture" as she called it and told me that my baby looked good. I had only been hooked up for 5 minutes and the baby had almost met the criteria required! I hope this baby continues to be this good for every NST. The nurse was speculating that a cooperative unborn baby may be a cooperative infant. We'll see. I do worry about the drama that is almost inevitable with a girl. But then again, Gavin is pretty dramatic and he's a boy. Every kid is different.

It's hard not to eavesdrop because there are 5 or 6 beds separated by a thin curtain for privacy. Another lady had come in for a NST while I was there. She gets to be induced next week. Lucky her. But she was saying that her baby is measuring big and that she hadn't gained much weight with the pregnancy. The lady said she was down another 2 pounds. It sounded all too familiar! I wonder what that all means. I've been told that it's not a big deal and the doctors aren't worried about me or the baby. But it does seem strange to be pregnant and not really gaining much weight while the baby just gets bigger and bigger. Who knows.

My next NST is scheduled for Christmas Eve. My next obstetrician appointment is the day after Christmas. Good thing we aren't going anywhere for Christmas! I'm so excited about Christmas. Time has gone quickly but it's starting to drag now because I have nothing left to stress about! I plan to enjoy my family these next 2 weeks. I encourage everyone else to do the same. Happy Holidays everyone!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Anyone can cook?

One of the themes in the movie Ratatouille is that anyone can cook. The last time we watched the movie that line came up and I said something derogatory like, "I can't cook." Gavin piped up with an enthusiastic, "Yes you can Mommy!" I couldn't help but laugh. At least my son believes in my abilities because I sure don't.

I believe anyone can cook if they have the desire to. That's my problem. I couldn't care less about cooking. I wish I cared about baking too but it always seems to be more trouble than it's worth. I see my friends cook for their families and they seem to get such satisfaction out of preparing meals for the ones they love. Try as I might, I can't seem to care. The few things I can do don't fill me with excitement that I made something. I cook because if I don't my family would starve. Also because it's not fair to make Heath do the cooking anymore now that his commute is so long and he gets home late more often than not. We used to have an agreement. He did the cooking because he was good at it and enjoyed it and I would clean for the same reasons.

Cooking really isn't difficult, nor does it take talent to make something edible. Anything is possible if you pay attention. That's my other problem. I rarely pay attention. In high school I was making dinner for my family and became so consumed in my own thoughts about a dramatic issue I was dealing with, that I actually put a plastic bowl on one of the burners (that I had forgotten to turn off when I took the pot off) to fill it with food. I didn't notice until I smelled the horrible stench of burning plastic. My mom knew the drama in my life at the time and was actually very nice about me melting one of her new serving bowls.

In college my philosophy was fast food or anything that could be microwaved in 2 minutes or less. It's amazing I didn't gain weight! The most adventurous I ever got was to throw ingredients in my slow cooker and eat it hours later. I even came up with my own way of microwaving Ramen noodles. Maybe I had some unconscious fear of burning boiling water! I bet I would be the one person to do that!

As a wife and mother I have managed to ruin casseroles from a box, nearly burn the house down with overflowing boiling water with milk and butter in it (for noodles from a box), forget to set the timer while boiling eggs and get so involved with other things that I had no idea how long the eggs had been boiling, I have forgotten ingredients in taco soup, and last night I managed to ruin another packaged meal with the easiest of easy heating instructions. Last night I set the timer and followed Heath upstairs completely forgetting about the fact that I was making dinner! The timer had gone off (I don't know when because I can't hear it upstairs) and the food was still boiling. It took some effort to scrape and scrub off the food burned to the bottom of the pan today after it had soaked overnight.

When I make mistakes like that (as Heath so sweetly puts it) I feel like such an idiot! Unfortunately I haven't learned to pay any more attention the next time. I am a firm believer in miracles but some things just can't be done like nailing jell-o to a tree!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Things that make me laugh

Heath recently found a quote that said "A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of." So true!

We received a check today for Christmas. It was made out to Health and Tristan Westover. That made me laugh only because I have made the same mistake.

I was telling Gavin and Parker that they have been very good to not touch all the holiday gifts and decorations. Then I told them that there are only 6 more days until we can open presents. Their eyes were wide as I talked about Christmas day and Santa coming at night while we slept. I said that a couple of days after Christmas Grandma and Grandpa would come visit. Gavin said he wanted to show them the toys he got for Christmas. I asked, "But what if you don't get any toys? What if you only get socks and underwear for Christmas?" His eyes got wider and wider as I asked the question. He paused with the biggest eyes I have ever seen and finally said, "Put them away?" Good response kid! If you only get socks and underwear you should put it away to be used when needed.

The other night we were watching part of some countdown of the top 100 songs of the 90's. Those shows are interesting in that I thought I understood pop culture from a certain time period but really I was apparently raised in a barn and know very little. One song I did recognize was My Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus. The celebrities being interviewed for the show made fun of his incredibly tight jeans (I agreed!) and his hairstyle choice. It was described as the encyclopedia mullet. Meaning if you wanted to look up mullet in the encyclopedia you would see Billy Ray Cyrus' hair! One celebrity said it was a mullet with an umlaut over the u. He called it an uber mullet (stretching out the word uber). That cracked me up.

I saw a video on America's Funniest Home Videos that I thought was hysterical. The dad was filming a baby dance and in the background you hear, "When are you going to tape us together?" The dad says, "I already taped you guys together." The little boy says, "But you didn't put tape on us." I love kids in the preoperational stage!

Every time Parker puts his hands on his hips I crack up. My favorite was when one of my visiting teachers asked her son to get his shoes on so they could go home. Parker dropped Owen's shoes on the floor in front of him and then put his hands on his hips. I was waiting for him to start impatiently tapping his foot as if to say, "Come on kid I may be younger than you but get your shoes on already."

Gavin said, "Parker check it out! I'm the first Wiggle." On Playhouse Disney you can design a Wiggle to look like you and have your name. I just love the term 'check it out!'

Sonic commercials. I love the one where the guy and girl are eating the holiday minty shakes. The girl starts blowing at the guy so he can tell how minty the shake is making her breath. She says something like, "See it's minty fresh right?" He looks like he's trying not to gag and says, "Minty isn't the word I would use."

I saw something last Saturday night that made me laugh. Unfortunately, I can't say anything until Christmas.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Stress

Most people experience high levels of stress around the holidays. Too many parties, not enough time. Obligation to buy a gift for every person you know. Crowded stores. Crowded streets. Commercials specifically designed to make you feel your gifts are inadequate and that you need to buy more to make up for it. Typical things like that. It's sad to think that such a beautiful time of year can cause so much emotional turmoil in so many people.

I love all the efforts people make to define the "reason for the season." Most are good ideas but still come up short. Songs are sung and stories are told of the miraculous birth of the Savior but sometimes it seems all the emphasis is put on that night and we forget why the Savior's birth was so joyous. We forget what a blessing His life was and continues to be for us.

I look around me and I am surrounded by blessings and beauty. My kids play so sweetly together 95% of the time. Who am I to complain about their running through the house scream giggling? They're having fun. Gavin pretended to go trick or treating around Halloween, which was creative and cute. Now he pretends he's Santa. He uses his inflatable sword as a reindeer or sled and carries toys in a bag. He repeatedly says, "Ho Ho Ho. Very Christmas!" It's adorable.

Yet sometimes I can't wait for it all to be over. I can't wait for the frantic commercialism to end. I can't wait for my family to see the gifts I wanted to give them. I can't wait for the preachiness of the season to end - why can't we preach charity, thanksgiving, and goal setting throughout the whole year rather than just in the dismal winter months?

But the biggest reason I can't wait for the holiday season to end is actually my source of stress. I can't wait for life to go back to normal. Normal business hours, normal medical service from my endocrinologist, etc. His office is closed until January 2. Apparently it has been closed all month. Meanwhile I can't get my pump supplies because my prescription has expired and the nurse is taking her own sweet time finding the 2 faxes sent for a prescription request. I'm not stressed though. No, not me! (heavy sarcasm!) In this time of year when we open our eyes to the miracles all around us I will pray for a miracle and know that my Heavenly Father will bless me because He always has. In the meantime I will try to scrapbook because my mother in law is coming soon and will want something to read!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Celebrity Moment

Saturday morning we had breakfast with Santa. How elite! The boys did really well. Gavin had already practiced this year with the Santa at the mall but this was Parker's first time ever sitting on Santa's lap. He never cried. He asked for a movie but Santa didn't understand him.

Gavin asked for Marlin (from Finding Nemo) but Santa didn't realize it was a character. He thought Gavin meant a real marlin fish. So he was telling Gavin that some of them are really big and some are small. He hoped Gavin wanted a small one that would fit in a fish tank.
This is my favorite picture of Parker with Santa. He was never afraid and even laid his head against Santa's shoulder. The room erupted into spontaneous ahhhing!
After their moment with their favorite celebrity, the boys made Christmas crafts. I threw the trees away today because I was tired of finding the little pom poms torn off all over the house. Gavin had a blast decorating his tree and wreath with Shauna. She was the first babysitter we had in California. Her older sister Amy was also helping with the crafts. Amy had just babysat for us the night before but Shauna somehow became Gavin's new best friend. She even helped Gavin get a doughnut to eat. It reminded me of my brother who was a well known ladies man at the tender age of 3! Maybe girls love little boys or maybe little boys know how to get older girls to do things for them, like tie their shoes. It was cute to watch Gavin and Shauna have so much fun together.
Parker loved the soft Christmas tree with the big buttons that held the decorations. He would name the nativity characters that were hanging on the tree. He knew Baby Jesus but insisted that one of the sheperds was named Noah!!!

Later that afternoon we had Michelle babysit for us while we went Christmas shopping for the boys. It was weird grabbing a cart because we would fill it with purchases and not boys. We had fun buying for our sweet kids that we love to spoil. I'm so glad that we're done shopping because it looks like Santa tripped in our front room spilling half his pack under our tree. He hasn't even come yet! The boys have been very good to not touch my decorations too much. I see some of the different picks on the floor every once in a while so I just find an empty spot on the tree to stick them back in. Today I noticed one of Gavin's packages had a rip in the top. It wasn't a complete box. The top was not level or flat like the rest of the box. I'm sure my boys were not trying to figure out their Christmas presents but poked it somehow and the top ripped a bit. I rearranged a few things including putting Parker's strangely shaped packages in the back where they can't reach. Then I told them not to touch any of the gifts because some might rip open and they would feel sad on Christmas morning if they didn't have anything new to open.
We have connections with Santa. (most parents do!) I know what he's bringing Gavin and Parker. They are going to be so excited. I can't wait.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Random Pointless Story (my specialty)

Have you ever had the dream of sleeping on the beach under the stars with the waves crashing in the background, your warm tan from the tropical vacation keeping you just the right temperature as you peacefully doze? Last night I got to do that . . . sort of!

We let Gavin and Parker watch a movie in our room yesterday. Heath was working from home and wanted some background noise. The boys are obsessed with the new TV Heath gave me for my birthday. They were told they could be in our room as long as they didn't get off the bed. It worked for maybe 10 minutes. Parker doesn't like to follow directions when it comes to being in our room. They both love to play with the little stuffed animals I have. These are toys that are special to me so they stay in our bedroom and have not been given to Gavin and Parker. My favorite is Sammy the Seattle Salamander that Heath bought for me when we were engaged and we went to Seattle for me to meet his family for the first time. We used to act like Sammy was real. Heath would call me at work and ask if I had seen Sammy. Then I would find him on the steering wheel in my car! We were always doing goofy things like that. We were crazy in love what can I say! We still are it's just that with kids we act a little different.

Anyway, I let Gavin and Parker play with the cow Charie gave me when I was done student teaching her class, Chocolate the cow Heath bought me as an anniversary present one year while we were out on our date, and Sammy the Seattle Salamander. Somehow Sammy got a little hole in the top of him and there is a beach load of sand in our bed! Heath was so funny. He layed Sammy on his back and frantically asked, "Sammy, are you ok?"

I didn't have time to change the sheets. Yesterday was a weird day. My visiting teachers came in the early afternoon, Heath was home which always screws up my schedule for the day, and I had a non-stress test at the hospital in the afternoon. (Baby's fine by the way. I have to do 2 NST's a week until I deliver.) That night we went out to dinner with the Cluffs, who are moving soon, and the Qians. Since we were going out that night I had to have the house look halfway decent! I'm so obsessive it's really sad. So I made our sandy bed so the babysitter would think I actually make the bed everyday, which I don't! And we brushed out as much sand as we could but we still felt like we were sleeping on the beach in the tropics somewhere.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Elf Dance

I just made a total elf of myself. Becca did the same and I couldn't let her be the only one! I didn't do a very good job of cropping Gavin and Parker's faces but it's still the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1366861969

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Acclimatized

In the song "Everybody's Free" it says, "Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft." Too late! After only 6 or 7 months I have totally acclimatized to life in Northern California.

Right now it's 54 degrees outside and I think it's cold! I checked the temperature before we left for Park Day. The computer said it was sunny and 39 degrees. I'm sorry but that is downright cold. I put the boys in their fleece jackets my mom made for them last Christmas and put gloves on them so their hands wouldn't get cold. I wore a coat. I almost gave the coat back to my friend who lent me her maternity clothes. She is moving soon and I wanted to give her all the maternity clothes I am not using and send the rest to her when the baby is born. The heaviest coat I have worn so far is my leather jacket. But I chose to wear the coat today figuring I would be freezing in anything less. Plus, my friend said it does get cold in the winter. It's the middle of December so I'm just wondering when although I will trust her. The coat was a good call. The boys were quite comfortable dressed as they were. A heavier coat would have been too warm for them while they were playing so hard. I think it was warmer than 39 degrees by the time we got to the park and it certainly warmed up while we were there but I was very content in a warm coat.

We ran into a couple of guys from Utah while we were shopping a few weeks ago. Heath was wearing a BYU shirt, which is the only reason they stopped us to talk. They were visiting from Utah to help set up some kiosks in the mall. They commented on the warm weather here. Heath and I looked at each other and then looked at them and said, "We've been here in the hot summer and now we're used to the temperatures. We think it's actually a little chilly now." It's so funny that these temps in Utah meant shorts for me. Now I'm bundling up in jackets for outside and blankets in the house.

The humidity level is different here too. I have only recently started using lotion on a daily basis. Normally my skin is so dry I have to use lotion year round. I guess that's what happens when you get used to living in different climates.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Mountain Man

Gavin is a free spirit. When I think about his pet peeves in life I think he would be most happy as a mountain man. He hates to be groomed in any way. He hates being told when to do anything. He would rather live his life according to the way the wind blows him. He would rather live in the mountains using the occasional rain as a means of getting clean, eat when and if he could find something, yell at the top of his lungs because in the mountains he can, fall asleep among the stars when he is good and ready, and wake up only if the mood strikes him. In the mountains he can have conversations with the Lord, as he does now, and be less bothered with the formalities of going to church. (going to church is a huge fight we have every Sunday five minutes before it's time to leave!) In the mountains long fingernails may actually be an asset, toys never have to be cleaned up, and the world is a playground. To mountain men, long hair is in vogue and combing it is a joke.

The funny thing about Gavin is how unpredictably predictable he is. The other night I announced to the boys that they needed to take a bath. Gavin went into his usual fit about not wanting to take one. I thought I had a brilliant idea when I thought of a book I bought as a child called No Baths for Tabitha. I read the book to the boys that night. Gavin thought it was great because he completely missed the point. He liked how Tabitha kept telling her mother, "No baths!" and her mother just let her go for 3 weeks. Today I gave the boys a bath and Gavin was not happy about it. He tried to say, "No baths for Gavin." When I told him he was taking one anyway he said he wanted presents in the tub. That was something Tabitha's mother tried in the book but it didn't work. I told Gavin he had toys in the tub and that was good enough. He got in a little unwillingly but he did get in without me having to help. I got Parker out early after he tried to dump a 32 oz mug full of water on the floor. I got Parker dressed and down for a nap and Gavin was still happily playing. For as much as this kid fights us on bathing he never wants to get out until the water is not much warmer than a frozen river, and sometimes not even then.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Christmas Traditions

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is seeing the lights people put on their homes. Last night we decided to get the boys ready for bed and drive around for 30 minutes or until they fell asleep, whichever came first. 9:00 pm came first and we shouldn't have been surprised! Last year Gavin called any house or business with Christmas lights on a "Christmas House!" Both boys were so excited to see all the "Christmas Houses" in our neighborhood.

From the backseat we could hear, "I see Santa!" "I see a reindeer!" "Look, Mickey!" "Oh, I see Whinnie the Pooh!" "Look, a train!" and so on. My favorite part was Gavin gasping so hard Heath swore he would develop asthma! Gavin would gasp really loud and hard and say, "Look, another Christmas house!" Then he would immediately do it again. He would start to comment on a snowman decoration but cut himself off to gasp at another Christmas house! It was hysterical!

When I asked Gavin what his favorite part was he said, "I liked Santa in the airplane. Can we go see it tomorrow? I forgot what color it was!" I told him it was red and we would see if we were going to look again tomorrow.

Gavin and Parker are so excited about Christmas. Gavin was making Christmas lists yesterday. He wanted scissors so I gave him a pair of safety scissors I used when I was his age. (I don't throw anything away!) He would cut up these little scraps of paper and scribble a little on it. They were everywhere. It looked like a confetti machine exploded in our family room. As we were working on dinner I had the boys clean up the paper. Parker was very excited about finding pieces to throw in the garbage and Heath helped Gavin put the paper on the fire in our fireplace. That was one of the easiest clean up sessions we have had in a while.

Today I have 5 grocery bags sitting on my counter full of persimmon from our persimmon tree. I didn't even pick all of them. I was cold and tired of it after 5 bags full. I maybe could get 3 more bags with what is left on the tree. Heath will have to help me with the high ones though since I'm short. I don't know the first thing about persimmon. Heath picked one to show my mom when she came for Thanksgiving. They kind of look like mini pumpkins. My mom said we should take some to my aunt and uncle for Thanksgiving. We left them with 2 or 3. They didn't know what they were either. My aunt has a cookbook dictionary kind of book. It said that they are inedible until after the first frost. (the first frost happened to be the night before Thanksgiving.) Then the book said something like they have a really stringent flavor (I don't know what that means but I'm guessing it's not too pleasant) and you should put the persimmon in a bag with an apple for 3-4 days to make the flavor better. I looked online and found some recipes for pudding, cake, bread, cookies, icing, you name it and there was a recipe for it using persimmon. We'll have to try something and if it's good maybe that's what our friends and neighbors get for Christmas! Also, if it's good maybe this will be a nice tradition for as long as we spend Christmas in this house.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Oh my wordy, guess I'm 30!

Yesterday was the last day I will ever be in my 20's (unless I lie). I'm not sad that I have turned 30. I feel the same today as I did yesterday. I don't think being 30 is a bad thing. I'm still young and, bonus for me, I have yet to feel like a real grown up! I never had a list of things I wanted to do by the time I was 30 so last year was just a good year. I was excited to be 29 for the first time (I may lie about my age eventually. My mom has been 29 for as long as I can remember!). Unfortunately, it rarely came up that people wanted to know my age. I was asked what my birthdate was a lot though.

So far it's been a great day. Heath wished me a happy birthday as soon as he woke up this morning. That's always my favorite gift - when people just say the words. Last night he took Parker shopping for me. I couldn't imagine what he was getting since I have known for some time what I'm getting. He wanted to give me an extra surprise. I got up earlier than usual because nature was calling urgently. It wasn't even 6:3o yet and I didn't have my glasses on but I did see the box Heath had left on the side of the tub. So I got my glasses to open it. I thought it was cool that the box had a W on it, not realizing he went to a jewelry store called Whitehall Co. I couldn't imagine what he had gotten me although I knew it was a jewelry box. When I opened it up it was a diamond necklace. Very pretty and classically understated. He knew I wouldn't want anything big and gaudy. It's a dainty silver chain with a straight pendant sort of thing with 7 diamonds. Heath had no idea that if I had to pick a favorite number it would be 7. So I thought that was cool. He told me that Parker helped pick it out. He said that Parker looked at the glass case and said, "Rocks!" I can just hear it and it makes me laugh.

Every morning I stare longingly at our jacuzzi tub for about 10 seconds before I decide it's not worth it to take a bath. I'm either getting ready for something in the morning or I know if I sit in the tub I will be so relaxed I won't want to do anything the rest of the day. I gave in today. It's my happy birthday so why not! Very relaxing and nice to just sit and veg with my own thoughts for a while. Tonight Heath is taking me out to dinner. I'm so excited because we rarely go on dates anymore. It's too hard with little kids. The last time we had a babysitter the girl told me that her parents didn't go out too much until she and her younger sister were old enough to watch the rest of the kids. Now they go out every Friday or Saturday night. I love my kids and I would much rather be home with them than make someone else watch them, but I do look forward to the day that I can run errands without them and go on more frequent dates with Heath.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Just a Big Baby!

Let me just start out by apologizing to Dawn. I hope I haven't stressed you out about blood sugars. But I'm sure you will roll your eyes and want to give me a pork chop to the forehead when I say that my A1c was 5.5!!! So she's just a big baby and it has nothing to do with me. I think the reason why I was so worried was because I feel like my blood sugars are on a swing - one minute they are really high and the next minute they are really low. There was a lot more consistency when I was pregnant with Parker. But I only have about 10 1/2 weeks left to go and then I can go back to being regular old crazy me rather than sleep deprived, hormonally imbalanced, crazy me. But maybe not. I saw on TV once a guy talking to his buddies about his pregnant wife and how insane she had become. He said, "Once the baby is born she'll go back to normal right?" His friends just gave him the "I'm sorry you're so naive" look!

The endocrinologist gave me information to get my blood sugars to him via his message board on his website. And then he can post any changes he wants me to make in my file that I can access. I was thrilled about that. It will help to not feel so alone in all this diabetes management. He also told me to try a 1-1.5 insulin to carb ratio at lunch. That only bugs me because it seems like an extraordinary amount of insulin. He was very understanding about the mind games those numbers play on pregnant women. I know it will all end soon and I end up with a cute little baby girl when it's all over. If there wasn't that kind of light at the end of the tunnel I'm not sure I would try so hard and I certainly wouldn't think all this effort was worth it.

Dawn, hang in there. It's only a few more days until Christmas break. Then you can relax and really enjoy the holidays. Plus, you get to come see us. We can't wait. Gavin was very excited to see my mom but as soon as she left he started talking about how Grandma and Grandpa will come after Christmas. We're all looking forward to it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Biggest Baby Yet?

Today I had another ultrasound to check on the growth of the baby. It was quite the adventure getting there as I accidentally took the wrong fork in the freeway as it split. Thank heavens I have a loving husband not only smart enough, but willing to talk me through what to do as I drove while having a panic attack because I was so lost! I hope I give him new reason every day to love me because every day I love him more and I am so happy he's my husband.

I got to the hospital safe and sound. The baby looks good. I had the technician check again that she was a girl. So obviously a girl that I would be totally surprised if I gave birth to a boy!!! I didn't need the technician to interpret. I knew what I was looking at!

She is estimated to weigh 2 pounds 11 ounces. That's about the 68th percentile. The perinatologist said that was a little big but they aren't concerned. That's basically what I heard from my OB last week. She told me I was measuring a little big but it was nothing she was concerned about. I just can't believe that in October we found out this baby has 2 blood vessels in her umbilical cord instead of the normal 3. The biggest concern with that issue is growth. She seems to be thriving and surviving quite well! My only concern with it all is whether or not it's my fault she's so big. Is my blood sugar too high and so the baby is a typical baby of a diabetic mother - fat and living on extra sugar??? I really hope not. I've whined about my blood sugars before. I can't seem to consistently stay in range. My averages look good so I have hope that I'm doing better than I think I am. Tomorrow I see my endocrinologist who will tell me the results of my latest A1c. Cross your fingers for a low number. I'm sure it's fine. I just like to panic about everything especially when things are new to me. This is my first girl, my first baby with an "abnormal umbilical cord," my first time I feel out of control as I attempt to control and manage my blood sugars, etc. etc. etc.

Unfortunately, the baby would not cooperate for a picture. The technician tried to get a good face picture but the baby rolled deeper into my pelvis making it impossible. Oh well. I saw her and she looked really good. The perinatologist said things looked good and that it's unlikely she would suddenly have problems. Time will tell.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Pet Peeves

clutter

the boys' bathtub - I hate dealing with bathtubs in general just because they are awkward to clean and it's hard to reach kids to clean them. But the boys' bathtub is plain old annoying! It has shower doors instead of a curtain. I grew up with shower doors and I was responsible for cleaning the tub a lot. How did I do it? The metal circle thing under the faucet is stripped so it doesn't stay in place. The handyman knows about it. He knew about it before the owners rented the house to us but he is lazy I guess. I told him about it in September and he said he would get the tools to fix it. That's the last I've heard about it! Should I say something? Yes, but I hate having people over to fix things or install things or whatever.

cleaning the kitchen - How many times a day is one person expected to sweep? A million if you live in my house with my messy kids. I hate when I get the kitchen all sparkly clean because inevitably it will be messed up again in 10 minutes. It's like the kitchen is one of those high traffic areas in the house or something!

emptying the dishwasher - I love to fill it and get all the dirty dishes off the counter and out of the sink but I hate putting them away.

garbage sculptures - I love to throw things away but I don't love taking out the garbage. It feels like we are holding a contest with some of our garbages to see how high we can pile the garbage before someone is willing to just take it outside! Our downstairs bathroom looks like an over the rim shake with how high the pile of fruit snack wrappers is. The kids are good to throw things away when they are finished but they choose the bathroom garbage instead of the kitchen garbage 90% of the time.

toy chaos - I think I have a mild to moderate case of obsessive compulsive disorder. I hate when my kids don't keep their toys together like Mr. Potato Head. There are pieces of him all over their toy box and not one in the plastic bag I had dedicated for those things. I will periodically go through their toys just to put things back together! I think I have a problem!!! Is there medication for this problem?

poor hug timing - I have many pet peeves about myself including myself as a mother. But I hate when my kids want a hug in the middle of eating. I'm sure that makes me the worst mother ever that I would value my appearance over a public display of affection. But try as I might I can't stand the thought of receiving a wet and gooey hug from a kid dripping with dinner! I also hate when Gavin uses hugs as a stall tactic. I ask him to do something and he starts with, "I just want a hug!"

grooming boys - Gavin acts like I'm chopping off his right arm with a dull knife and no anesthetic rather than simply cutting his fingernails! Parker just thinks everything tickles, which is funny but gets old quick. I hope my little girl is a little more interested in having her hair combed every day and other grooming things like that.

swoopy singers - I don't generally like people who try too hard when they sing but my pet peeve is famous singers who swoop and overdramatize the Star Spangled Banner and classic Christmas carols. We all know you are talented and it's a good song on it's own, just sing it.

my Christmas music collection - why do I have so much Church sounding music? Christmas songs can be fun too! I need to find Heath's Harry Connick Jr Christmas CD. I hate Harry Connick Jr.'s sound but at least he sings fun songs like Happy Ho Ho Ho to You. Right now we have one fun CD by a group called Voice Male. They do a lot of acapella stuff. I think Heath told me his dad's pet peeve is acapella but I may be wrong. We had another fun CD but somehow lost it.

Michael McCheese (oh I mean McLean) and his Forgotten Carols - I call him McCheese because basically all his music is dripping with cheesiness. My all time pet peeve song of his is the one that talks about how we are not homeless like the Christ child was. Correct me if I'm wrong but when was the Christ child homeless? The story I read in the King James version of the Bible said that Mary and Joseph were in Bethlehem paying their taxes. Nowhere in the story did it say they were evicted, their house burned down, or was otherwise condemned. So even though the Savior was born in a stable because all the rooms were taken it didn't mean he didn't have a home to go to. So every child born in a car on the way to the hospital is considered homeless?

Rude medical professionals - like the receptionist I talked to yesterday who used an uncalled for condescending tone of voice with me. I didn't realize I was putting her out by asking her to do her job, which was to schedule an appointment for Gavin to see the pediatrician before Kindergarten registration in March. She was really mean and I was really stupid for letting her ruin my day. Maybe something bad had happened to her and she took it out on me and I don't know that part of the story. But one thing I can't stand is people who offer unsolicited opinions. Like the opthamologist nurse who told me I was crazy (her words not mine) for being pregnant again because my kids would be 2 years apart! I wasn't aware that she should have been consulted in my family planning! Or the opthamologist receptionist making small talk that asked how long I had been diabetic. When I told her I found out when I was 10 she said, "That's scary." Why? Because my pancreas stopped working correctly? She also was very judgmental when she found out Gavin was 9 months old and was just starting to crawl. I didn't like her. I guess I have bad luck with opthamologist staff members because at my last appointment here in CA the nurse kept suggesting that I had poor diabetes control. But when the doctor came in and saw that she had written 6.0 as my last A1c reading he praised me for my efforts and after looking at my eyes he said he couldn't be happier with someone who has had diabetes as long as me and has had 2 and 1/2 kids. I trust his opinion more than the nurse.

snickers candy bars - have they changed the recipe? I haven't had one since Halloween but I was so disappointed that there weren't more peanuts. I like the peanuts.

reality TV shows and most game shows - There is a new reality show on TLC about making over Miss America. It's not on yet but the previews look like they have created an entire show about someone's pet peeve of beauty queens. Not interested. Yesterday I watched a show on TLC called Moving Up. I don't like the idea of this show. It's about 3 different families who are moving. They criticize the house they are moving into and the owner's sense of style. Then they fix it up and all the families go back to their original house to see what the new homeowners have done to it. It's stupid because people get so upset and defensive when it's not even their house anymore. The point of the show is to pit all those people against each other. Dumb. I was watching yesterday to do something mind numbing. I wanted to strangle one couple. The couple who had bought their house had their mortgage company drop the ball and they found out on they couldn't close on the house because they didn't get the loan. The woman went with another mortgage company immediately and got the loan. I don't know how long it took but it didn't look like it was more than a few days. The first couple was all upset because all their stuff was on a moving truck and this new couple had the audacity to not be able to close! The husband was all upset because he owned 2 houses! Big deal! That happens to people all the time because sometimes it's easier to buy a house than to sell your old one and people end up owning 2 homes for a while. The wife was relentless in her criticism of the new couple and said forgiveness didn't apply in this situation! Are you kidding me? I am the queen of drama and even I am not that mean!

I could go on and on. I have a whole list of pet peeves. My biggest one should be myself for being such a negative person! I didn't type this list to bring negativity into people's lives but to inject some humor into my bad mood and blue cloud I have been under for a while. I also don't want to create controversy with anything I said. I saw a blog post recently where the girl shared an innocent opinion that turned into a pretty ugly blog debate. That is not my intent here.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Hard to argue with logic

Gavin astounds me with how smart he is. I know that all kids are smarter than we give them credit for and they are master manipulators. I taught Elementary school for 3 years, I know kids are manipulative. But Gavin cracks me up. I can't argue with him. I can only laugh at how smart he is. Even though we were at the park for about 2 hours today with my visiting teachers and their kids that was not enough for Gavin. When Parker fell asleep in the swing I said it was time to go home. Gavin was already trying to negotiate another trip to the park when Parker woke up. Hard to do now that the days are so short and getting much colder. I told Gavin that we would only go to the playground if Parker woke up when it was still light outside. I figured I was safe since it was 2:30 pm and Parker would most likely sleep until 5:00. Gavin was so excited when Parker woke up a little before 5:00. He insisted we go to the park. I told him it was getting dark outside so we weren't going today. He looked out the blinds in the family room and told me that he didn't see the moon and stars so it wasn't dark yet. Too smart!

My favorite Gavin logic was the day he put his shirt on backwards. I told him he needed to fix it. He looked inside the neck and said, "There's no tag, see!" And he was right, sort of. The tag was printed on the shirt and not sewn in. It wasn't worth arguing about so that day the stripes were on the back of his shirt! I love kids.

I love . . .

I have loved California since we crossed the Nevada/California border on May 27. But every once in a while I take note of how much I love it here. I love the neighborhood we live in. I love our sweet neighbors. Bob let the boys pet his huge (Beethoven breed of dog) dog named Rose. She is a sweet dog and very well behaved. I love all the parks and playgrounds around here. I love the gorgeous scenery. I love that my visiting teachers met with me at the playground by my house while all our boys played together. I love how kind and friendly everyone is. I love how sweet and generous everyone in my ward is. I love that when my visiting teachers say to call them if I need anything I believe they mean it and they would be willing to help me. One of them already babysat for me earlier this month. I love how happy I feel here. I love how independent I am daring to be (I know some of my friends probably think that's funny considering all the limitations I still put on myself). I love that even though Heath has worked until 10 pm two nights in a row this week that I am ok with that. I used to be so upset if he left much later than 5:30. I love that he loves his job as much as he does and he pushes himself every day to be better and better. I love all of these things plus so much more.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Greener Pastures

"What appears to be 'Greener Pastures' may be nothing more than a patch of weeds." My mom and grandma put together a daily quote book for me when I was in high school. I have been using the book every day ever since. The above quote was for a few days ago but it totally fits today!

I am to the point in my pregnancy where I am very insulin resistant and have limited food choices as a result. This happened when I was pregnant with Parker too. But it was spring time when I basically went on an Atkins diet since I couldn't control my blood sugars if I ate carbs. The only time I could have bread products was in between meals if my blood sugar dropped low. It was a bum deal then but not nearly as hard as it is now. How badly do people really want to eat a lot of heavy food in the spring and summer? Bunless, letuce wrapped burgers were fine the first several times but after a while they really lost their appeal! Now it's the holidays. I want to eat candy and cookies and goodies but I can't. I have a glass of milk or a glass of orange juice for breakfast. Most days I don't even get to indulge in a mid morning snack. Then for lunch I eat apple slices with peanut butter and a glass of milk (about 20 units of insulin!) Today I had an orange and yogurt (17 units of insulin). My life is getting depressing!

I sigh heavily when I look at my meal that is less than what I eat when my blood sugar is low. I punch in the numbers on my insulin pump as if insulin were candy and I'm binging on it! Lunch is a sad time of day. The funny part is my kids look at my food and are crazy jealous of what I'm eating compared to what I prepared for them!!! I wish I had never used the phrase "my blood sugar is low" in front of Gavin. He wants to snack on what I snack on. He thinks my fruit snacks are better than his. My fruit snacks are a larger package therefore they have more carbs and last a little longer than what we get for the boys. Gavin knows he can't have my fruit snacks because they are for when my blood sugar is low. So he says, "Mom, I want your fruit snacks. My blood sugar is low too!" Cute but so annoying! Sometimes I say that I have to eat because the baby is hungry. I have no problem with lying to my kids! What mom doesn't lie to her kids once in a while? Usually I need to eat when it's convenient to also give my kids something so they never know unless I'm really low and I tell them I will eat first and then get them something in a minute when I feel better.

Lately I've been thinking that this pregnancy is similar to my pregnancy with Gavin. My weight gain pattern is about the same. My worry is that nursing will be similar. With Gavin I dropped low every time I nursed. I would let him scream and cry in hunger while I shoved all kinds of rich, high carb food in my mouth before feeding him so I wouldn't see spots and halucinate after feeding him. I don't want to deal with all that again. It's scary. Hopefully that part is the same as Parker. I would type more but Heath is working from home today and he needs to get back to work. I need to go Christmas shopping for him. Amazing how I have to go through all the trouble of shopping for lumps of coal!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Time Out

I was reading my new Parenting Magazine this morning. A woman had posted on the magazine's blog about time outs. She said that if she yells she has to go in time out. I was thinking that maybe that would help me stop yelling so much. (I've been getting better lately.) Then she said that it was great to be in time out. "You chill out, staring blankly at the wall, thinking about whatever you want. No one is supposed to talk to you, so it's like a mini-vacation in the middle of the day. I may have to start yelling on purpose!" I laughed so hard when I read that! But realistically, maybe a mini-vacation would do me some good. Last night I didn't yell but I used a very exasperated tone of voice when I told my kids for the 5th time that they just needed to sit down at the table while I finished dishing up dinner. I felt bad so I explained to them that it was the end of the day, I was tired, I needed to try to be happy but they could help by not running through the house like screaming Banshees. We all chilled while we ate dinner together and the rest of the night was much more enjoyable.

The other funny thing I read in the magazine was a poll question. Would it be so bad if you really did turn into your mother? 50% said no while 36% said yes. The funny part was that 14% said I'm tired of worrying about something that is inevitable.

I didn't get to read too much more because there are fun ads in Parenting Magazine with toys and Disney characters and movie characters. My kids fight over my magazines after I'm done reading them but today Parker was throwing a fit because I wouldn't let him read it first. How dare I read my own luxury mail before giving it to my kids!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Thanksgiving Pictures

I have a "deer in the headlights" look on my face because Heath wanted me to make the stuffing!
Good thing Logan was there to help me!
This little car was the source of much contention between my boys. They fought like cats and dogs over who got to sit in it. Gavin is going through a vampire stage right now. We all saw him bite Parker a few times over this car.
The picture of childhood. I can't tell you how many camping pictures we have of my brother, sister, and me with olives on our fingers. Gavin loved the olives and really loved the convenience of having them on his fingers.
After dinner we went to a nearby park to feed the ducks. My uncle told me that the ducks are picky about what they eat because they are well fed. You can tell these ducks have not missed many meals! They sure liked the Honey Nut Cheerios my aunt brought. My mom kept a firm grip on Parker so he wouldn't fall in the water.

Here's my family. Left to right: Parker, Grandma/Aunt Sharon, Gavin, Aunt Darla, Uncle Chris, Logan, Zoe, Caleb, and Bryn.
Heath is such an awesome photographer. I love this picture of Bryn.
I love this picture of Parker. I wonder what he's thinking about.
Here's another great picture. I love the angle in this picture of Zoe.
My cousins: Logan, Bryn, Caleb, and Zoe. We thought it was funny that they were all leaning the same way. There must have been extra gravity on that side of the room or something.
Thanksgiving in Sacramento was wonderful. My aunt and uncle are not big on Thanksgiving. When I visited them in Alameda as a teenager we had spaghetti for Thanksgiving. Darla made an excellent meal. We all enjoyed being together. My cousins got to know me and my little family a little better. We got to know them a little better. Costco's apple pie was to die for! The park was a blast. The day was perfect.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Momentary Sadness

My mom is on her way back to Salt Lake City and I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I knew I would be sad when she left but it still surprised me how I feel. She flew in last Wednesday night. We gave her the tour of our house and then watched a movie. Thursday we drove to Sacramento for Thanksgiving. I have 4 cousins in that family between the ages of 2 and 10. I love that Heath played with the kids as much as he did. My cousins seemed genuinely sad when we had to leave. Being in their house was a trip down memory lane for me because my 8 year old cousin, Bryn loves to draw. She had her artwork displayed everywhere. She even made placemats for everyone from her artwork. I remember the days when I filled my time with drawing and coloring.

My mom stayed in Sacramento until Saturday afternoon. That way she could spend time with her brother while she was in California. After the BYU football game was over we went in to San Francisco. I have never been to the Wharf at night. That was fun, especially to eat dinner outside by the water.

Sunday we went to Church and later had a wonderful dinner of roast beef, carrots, and mashed potatoes. Then we went to the Oakland Temple grounds to walk around. What a gorgeous place. No wonder my sister wanted to be married in the Oakland Temple. It just doesn't make sense when both of their families live in Utah! When we got home Sunday night we put up Christmas decorations. My mom trimmed our tree which looks incredible. We bought all new decorations from Costco and that tree looks so awesome. I love it.

Today we got ready as quickly as possible so we could maximize our time together. We left the house at 9 am and headed to Downtown Pleasanton. I have only driven through there but have never stopped to look at the shops. It was all window shopping since none of the stores were open until 10. So then we headed for the Stoneridge Mall. That was fun but we still didn't find a tree topper for my Christmas tree. Target was next and luckily we did find a tree topper there for $8. Cheap huh! We had lunch at In&Out Burgers. My mom has never been there before. Then I dropped her off at the BART station where she got on a train to the Oakland Airport. I miss her so much already but I am so glad she came. We had so much fun and the boys loved being spoiled by Grandma. My sadness is only momentary since the fun memories will last so much longer.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Merry Christmas Little Sister

Last night Heath took Gavin out for some one on one father/son time. They went to the mall where they had ice-cream and cookies at McDonald's. There was no waiting to see Santa so Heath thought it would be good for Gavin to practice so he can show Parker it's not scary when we actually take both of them. Santa asked Gavin what he wanted for Christmas. Gavin's reply, "I want Dora for my little sister." Santa asked how old his little sister was. Heath told Santa that she wasn't even born yet and that she was due in February. Gavin's such a sweet little guy!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I've been TAGGED!!!

Tag, I'm it! I have been asked to share 6 things about myself. It was hard coming up with things that most of you don't already know about me (and that I am willing to share!). Enjoy.

#1) Most of you already know that I hate driving. The rest of the story is that I didn't get my driver's license until I was 17 years old and a senior in high school. I didn't even drive home from the DMV. In fact, I didn't drive more than a handful of times until I was 22 years old and paid cash for my first car. It was a cute 1999 Chevy Cavalier (1 year old) with only 13,000 miles on it. 6 years later when we traded it in for the Chevy Uplander I now drive I think my car only had about 40,000 miles on it! I don't know why I hate driving, I just do.

#2) Age 22 must have been a good year for me because not only did I get my first car but I also got my first kiss! That's right, Heath is the only guy I have ever kissed. I was a super flirt in junior high but I must have done something wrong because by high school I was firmly in the friend zone with all those guys. I didn't date much and I did most of the asking out. I have only had 3 boyfriends in my life. A boy named Eric in first grade, a different boy named Eric in second grade, and then Heath. None of this was by choice! But I knew exactly what I wanted in a husband and got it all and more with Heath. I used to worry (while we were engaged) that I was settling for the first guy who ever paid any attention to me. But I always felt like he was the right guy for me. We will celebrate our 7th anniversary in February and I have never regretted one day of choosing to marry Heath. He is my soul mate and like Lori, I would never change a thing about my husband. I love him!

#3) I hate all holidays except for Christmas. I don't just love Christmas day I love the whole Christmas season. I love the reason why we celebrate Christmas. I love the decorations, giving gifts to others, the smells, the lights. I honestly can't sleep on Christmas Eve I am so excited to see people's (especially my kids) reactions to their gifts.

#4) I grew up in a water skiing family. My grandpa has been water skiing for decades. He is in his 70's and as far as I know he still water skis. I learned to ski when I was 12 years old just to make my mom and grandpa happy. It didn't take me long to learn to stand up but once I'm up on the water I hate every second of the experience. As Leonardo da Vinci said in Ever After, I will leave walking on water to the Son of God. I did water ski with a plastic bag on my head once. I even have pictures of it. My hair was permed the day before and I couldn't get it wet so my mom and grandma helped me pin a plastic bag on my head to keep my long hair from getting wet. As soon as I stood up the wind caught the bag which almost blew off. I was laughing my butt off!!!

#5) Math is not my subject. I have memorized most simple math facts but still count on my fingers when I'm in a hurry or flustered. I don't do math in my head. My final exam for my Math for Elementary teachers class in college was a 6th grade math test that I found difficult. My first good experience with math was when I took Geometry in 9th grade. That was the first time I ever understood math. Most of my friends struggled that year because geometry didn't make sense to them. I understand very little about money and really hated it when I had to work the register at Mac Frugal's (now Big Lots), my first job. I worked in the clothing department so I was rarely called to the register. I looked like an idiot every time someone changed the amount of money they were to hand me. I had already punched in the amount they originally had and the register told me how much change to give them. But they would give me a quarter or something to get better change. Most of them were nice enough to say, "I gave you a quarter so you give me $5 back." It never made sense to me.

#6) Unlike most girls I don't need my man to buy me jewelry. I've already mentioned that the occasional bouquet of roses makes my day. As a teenager I looked like Phoebe Buffay from Friends with the amount of jewelry I would wear. I wore earrings, necklaces, rings, bracelets, and toe rings all at the same time. By college I wore significantly less jewelry on a daily basis. Heath had to beg, plead, and convince me to go pick out an engagement ring "in case he proposed." I did not want to. I wanted him to just surprise me since I didn't care what it looked like. I finally gave in and found my ring at the Shane Company. Heath asked why I liked it so much in case they didn't have it when he was ready to buy it and he could find something similar. I didn't know, I just liked it. So he took me to mall jewelers until I found other rings I liked. I realized it was the shape of the band that I liked. I was relieved when he proposed with the ring I had chosen at Shane Company. He has wanted to eventually get me a bigger diamond since he proposed but I couldn't care less. Diamonds don't do it for me the way they do for other girls. I love the ring, I'm happy, and I love when he surprises me with roses. I never gossip with my friends about what a cheapskate my husband is for not buying me diamond whatever! I have heard of girls who do this. Sad.

Well, that's me. I hope I haven't shocked or surprised anyone to the point they change their opinion of me! And now I tag Sharon and Shani. Although I think it would be cool if my regular readers would e-mail me a list or send me a letter since you guys don't have a blog.

Monday, November 19, 2007

I don't care attitude

My kids, who are only 4 and 2 years old, have adopted a teenage I don't care attitude. They do naughty things and get in trouble and give us their patented I don't care look. We tell them that unless they make better choices Santa won't come and visit. They don't care. They only hear that Santa Claus is coming to visit. Sometimes they cry but it's more because they were caught than they are actually sorry. Parker is trying to singlehandedly destroy our house. He doesn't care. Gavin bit Parker's finger so hard yesterday it's a wonder he didn't bite it off. He only apologized because Heath told Gavin he wouldn't get lunch until he said he was sorry. Heaven help me when they become teenagers!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Just when you think it's over . . .

So Heath and I both have the flu! Luckily for him he hasn't thrown up yet. I did. A lot last night. I think I'm done with that and I don't feel great but I don't feel as bad as I did last night. We may just live through this.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Things I've learned in the last 48 hours

My kids never get sick after eating a healthy dinner! I can't tell you how many regurgitated hot dogs or corn dogs I have cleaned up in my day! This time we had pizza for dinner on Monday night. Luckily I didn't see any of it again though!

When one kid is sick and you're sure the other one will get sick too, plan on it!!! If you think you hear your toddler waking up from a nap, check on him!!! Even if you hear silence every time you listen at the door. Parker had been (what I thought at the time) sleeping for 3 hours. When I decided to open the door to help wake him up sooner I saw him lying on the floor, eyes open, in his own vomit. I don't know how long he had been there like that.

I am stronger and capable of more than I think. The Lord blesses His children with the means to endure through any trial set before us. I felt pretty good about my coping skills when it was just Gavin that was sick. Maybe I was too smug. I had been complimented like crazy by friends who think I am the "ER Lady" but really I just happened to be around when emergency has struck their families. So I felt confident that Gavin would be fine and I naively thought Parker would wait until much later than he did to get sick. Let me tell you, there has never been another moment in my life where I wanted to switch to panic mode and lay down crying like I did Tuesday late afternoon. I was cleaning up Parker's mess while he was lying on his bed looking like death warmed over. Gavin came up to ask me to get his bucket so I rushed him to the bathroom where he vomited more. All I could think was the last time I felt outnumbered with sick kids I called my sister for help. And I have one more on the way! Insanity!!! The next best thing was to call Heath and say, "Please come home soon. And please stay home tomorrow. I can't do this alone." Even though my sweet husband was incredibly helpful when he got home, the worst was behind us by then.

Brain Fry manifests itself only after another competent adult is around to help. I had kept it together all day. I was multitasking like crazy and I can't multitask! But while Heath was changing his clothes I accidentally gave Gavin a teaspoon of Gatorade from Parker's cup and teaspoon!!! After a quick self-beratement and explanation to Heath, we both came to the conclusion that worse things could happen. They both had the same illness and the end of the world would not come because I made a tired mistake. I had recently seen an episode of Bringing Home Baby on TLC. The couple was spending their first night home with premature twins. The mom forgot to give one twin her breathing medicine and didn't notice until it was almost time to dose again. She laughed it off after saying a naughty word! What else can you do?

Sometimes my gut doesn't speak very clearly. Every time I thought Gavin would be ok to drink at his own pace from a cup he threw up. But after listening to Parker cry like his heart had been broken for more to drink than a teaspoon every 5 minutes, and after Heath gave Parker a blessing of comfort, we decided to just let him have the cup. And wouldn't you know Parker drank like he had been wandering in the hot desert but never threw up again. In fact, he perked up after getting his fill of water. We sent him back to bed with a sippy cup of water and he was just fine.

Everyone possesses a universal, internal desire to fight. My boys were so disappointed I wouldn't let them go to Park Day yesterday. Gavin kept saying, "But my tummy feels better. I'm not throwing up anymore." Now I understand how Heath feels when he tells me I'm doing too much too soon after being sick or having a baby surgically removed from my stomach. (Although I'm afraid this C-section will kick my butt! If I feel this much pain around my scar while being pregnant how will I deal with a fresh incision? For the first time in my life, I may stay home the first 6 weeks.)

The BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) is a good idea unless your kids are old enough to have opinions about their food. At least my kids like bananas.

It sends a weird message when I don't blog every day. I've also learned that people care about me more than I realize. I wanted to blog yesterday. I wanted to blog this list. I actually tried to blog yesterday but of course (Murphy's Law), the computer downstairs wouldn't connect to the Internet. It would just fine on Tuesday but I was dumb and blogged upstairs while Gavin napped downstairs on the couch in front of "13 Going on 30." I fell asleep watching baby shows on TLC yesterday. I could have tried to blog yesterday after 5 pm when Heath was done working. He decided to work from home yesterday and I'm glad. But after 5 pm I wasn't in the mood to blog anymore. No Dawn, things were not as bad as they appeared. I'm playing the lazy card on this one.

I love when my kids recognize they are tired and actually say so. Today Parker looked like he might fall asleep in his lunch. I asked him if he was tired and he said he wanted to take a nap. Wow. No complaints here! He needs the rest. We are on the mend and that's a good thing.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

My Turn

This month has been the month of illness in our ward! I know so many people who have been sick in one way or another. I guess it's my family's turn now. We have been watching movies since 8:30 this morning. I put the first movie on because our handy man came over to resolve an electrical problem. We blew a fuse on Sunday morning when I was blowdrying my hair. Cost of beauty??? I was annoyed because I had to finish doing my hair in the poorly lit baby's room on the floor in front of the mirrored closet doors. Considering the circumstances I didn't look bad but I didn't look great!

Later that afternoon after we still hadn't heard from our landlords, Heath went to Home Depot to replace the GFCI switch. The lights connected to the flipped breaker came back on but I noticed that night that the plugs weren't working. This was in all 3 bathrooms. So I looked like a stay at home mom with my messy ponytail to see the opthamologist. Yeah, this is how vain I am! Is anyone surprised?

So I e-mailed our landlords yesterday morning about the issue. They wrote back that they were in Hawaii. Jealous!!! Anyway they gave me the handyman's info so I could have him come over to fix it. He fixed it this morning. It was a simple fix which was nice. I planned to shower after he left because I could actually do my hair well today. When I got out of the shower the movie was over. I was about to turn off the TV but then Gavin said his stomach hurt. Then he puked on my rug and I ran him into the bathroom where he threw up more than I thought was possible for a skinny 4 year old!

I gave him a teaspoon of water every 5-10 minutes as I have been instructed to do in the past. He held it down and seemed fine and wanted more to drink and he said he was hungry. So in one hour we went from a teaspoon of water to a tablespoon every 5-10 minutes. He did just fine. I made Ramen noodles for my boys and also made a big mistake by giving Gavin watered down orange juice. By the way, if anyone ever wondered, orange juice is not a clear liquid and should not be consumed by a person suffering from flu symptoms! Gavin threw up for the second time. He has vomited a few more times but not as often as Tori was the night I just happened to be at Janelle's house when her husband was out of town.

I got Parker down for a nap. I think he's awake now. I put on a movie I would enjoy which was good because Gavin was not interested in watching and he actually fell asleep. He needs to sleep. I hope Parker doesn't get the flu until at least tomorrow when Gavin is on the mend. It's hard when they both are sick. Parker is so funny though. He wanted a bucket like Gavin. Gavin's bucket was to vomit in. Parker put his on his head! Parker wanted to drink from a measuring spoon like Gavin too. I just hope he doesn't decide to vomit like Gavin! And I hope if both boys do get sick that I don't get it too. I don't know what to do if I have the flu while pregnant. Wish me luck as I take my turn.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Time

In February 2006 I made a scrapbook page about time. The idea came to me because I was so overwhelmed with emotion when I put Gavin into a pair of 3T jeans. I couldn't believe how much he had grown up in such a short amount of time. Gavin has always seemed older and more mature to me than his actual age but that day I was sad to see my baby not be a baby anymore.

I mention this because I have experienced those feelings all over again with Parker. Parker has been wearing 3T clothes for a few months now but that wasn't what made me feel sad. What killed me was seeing Parker in new 3T pajamas. On Saturday we bought him some new pajamas for the cooler nights. Saturday night Heath and I went to a party with our ward. The babysitter got the boys ready for bed. So I didn't even see Parker until Sunday morning. When I saw him in his new pajamas - long sleeved t-shirt and long pants I couldn't even describe the emotions in my heart. My baby is now a big boy. When did that happen???

Whenever I see pictures of Parker as a baby I feel a twinge of sadness. I remember that baby. I can't believe how much he has grown and changed in 2 years. Time marches on whether we like it or not. Sometimes we think different stages of life or our children's lives will never end. They do end. Lori, if you're reading this, potty training does end and these days will seem like a distant memory! Sometimes we wish we could go back in time for just 5 more minutes. We can't. All we can do is be happy where we are.

The last paragraph on my Time page says, "Time . . . what a crazy thing. It took me, what felt like at the time, an eternity to get here. To have my every dream fulfilled. And now time almost feels like it is slipping through my fingertips. But I am happy. I have everything I have ever wanted plus the dreams of the future. May time continue to be kind as my family grows old together and we enjoy every moment in between." It's just as true today as it was nearly 2 years ago. My kids are growing up and that's ok. I was happy with them as babies and I'm happy with them now. And now I must stop typing because I had my eyes dilated today for an eye exam and I am feeling nauseated typing because I can't see very well!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Save the Date

That is one of Kirk's pet peeves. I don't remember what his reasons were but I remember how annoyed he was when he saw a "Save the Date" invitation on his parents' message board! I say save the date because I now have a much better idea of when our baby girl will be born. My doctor said she would like to schedule the C-section for when I'm 3 or 4 days into my 38th week. Based on my calculations that means the baby will be born on February 21 or 22. How weird to know my child's birthday.

The plan was for me to have all my babies sometime in my 38th week. Gavin was a little early (18 days) and I think he was born in my 37th week. Parker was born in my 38th week. I have heard many different reasons for diabetics having their babies early. I just don't always tell people those reasons because it's too long an explanation and sometimes I can tell people don't really want to know. So when someone says, "Oh you have your babies early because they get so big?" I think of how I have had two babies in the 6 pound range and just say, "Sure, that's why."

Yesterday my doctor told me that it's difficult to find the perfect timing to deliver a diabetic's baby. She said that if you wait too long there is the risk of many complications including infection. If you take the baby too early then there is the risk that the baby is not mature enough for life outside the womb, especially lung development. This all supported what I had been told before. That it's the equivalent of a normal mother's baby needing to born between 40 and 42 weeks. The placenta is not as effective and things start to break down. I was told that it just happens sooner in diabetics. But my doctor has found that babies born to diabetics in the 38th week do well. The only reason it would happen sooner is if I go into labor sooner or my water breaks early like it did with Gavin.

I have been worried about the tubal ligation because I didn't know how much time it would add to the surgery. My doctor told me it would take an extra 5 minutes is all. She also told me that I will know she's doing it because she will say something like, "Last chance to say no." I don't see myself changing my mind even on the operating table. She told me that some women see their cute, slimy babies over the curtain and decide not to get the tubal ligation. Not me. Everyone says how horrible labor is and then you look at this sweet little baby and you forget all the pain. Not me. I remembered in vivid detail how horrible the whole experience was for at least a year after Parker was born. It's amazing I even wanted to try again! But I knew there was one more baby for us. I know now there are no more babies for us waiting to be born.

I read a really interesting scrapbook page in my Creating Keepsakes magazine. It was so true I had to laugh. "Sweet baby Lincoln. My newest nephew and probably the last grandchild on this side of the family. It surprised me how much I forgot about how babies smell and coo and how simply perfect you felt in my arms. You just fit so well and you are so loved by all of us. And I began to wonder if maybe those feelings were telling me something. If maybe, just maybe, our family should be a family of 6, instead of 5. The numbers would be even, there wouldn't be an odd man out anymore, and we had always talked about having four kids. It was just the right number, it seemed. And then I looked across at your gorgeous mom. And saw how tired she was. And then I remembered. The sleepless nights, the massive sleep deprivation, the heavy diaper bag and infant car seat, the constant laundry, the terrible 2's, and potty training. And I came to my senses. But you almost had me, sweet baby. Almost." I agree. The bad days (like yesterday) solidify my decision but even on the good days I know I will love one more baby and my family will be complete.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Is it illegal?

Is it illegal to want to sell your child? Is it illegal to seriously think about finding a box to mail your child to either of his grandmothers? Is it mean of me to insist that Parker stay in his room until he has actually slept? That kid has not stopped his temper tantrum since the moment we walked in the door at 12:30 pm. The only time he hasn't been crying is when I sat next to him hoping he would just go to sleep already.

I took my kids to Lisa, Gavin's Primary teacher, while I went to the OB. She took them with her to pick up her son from pre-school in Dublin. Parker fell asleep in her van and she carried him, carseat and all, to my van where he woke up. He is obviously overtired and I am literally at my wits end. He screamed bloody murder, throwing his food around, during lunch. So I exercised great self control and calmly carried him up to his room and locked him in. He screamed even harder and pounded on the door so hard and so much that the doorknob came off. (It broke Halloween night. Heath just needs to fix it because heaven knows it will take a month for the not so handy man to come - it did the last time we tried to get him here.) So that's when I held Parker until he calmed down and sat next to his bed. He won't sleep even though he keeps rubbing his eyes and he was asking for his lunch. This may get me the worst mother of the year award because I gave him what was salvagable of his lunch - apple slices - on a napkin and shut the door again. He has a sippy cup of water too. That used to be his favorite way to go to sleep.

If I'm bald the next time any of you see me you will know why. I signed the tubal ligation papers today and I would do it again and again and again! But really, can I sell my 2 year old?

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Off Day

Have you ever had one of those days where your typical schedule is off just a bit? Today was one of those days for me. It's not a big deal and nothing bad has happened as a result. It's just been an off day.

I found out my friend has the flu. Bummer for her and I hope she gets better soon. I was just glad I found out as early as I did. It gave me time to find a replacement babysitter for tomorrow when I go to my OB appointment. And thankfully that was not nearly the panic/crisis situation I thought it would be. I had a list of 4 people I would try to call, the last one being someone who could give me more ideas. The first phone call was successful.

My hair dried too fast today so it looks less than lustrous! Not a big deal, even for me and I'm a vain perfectionist!

My boys were so sweet all morning until I pulled into the grocery store parking lot. Gavin suddenly decided to be really weird about going in the store. He told me that he and Parker would be good while I went in. I wanted so badly to leave them out there since I was only going in for a card and Sprite for Janelle. But I didn't think that was a good idea to leave 2 toddlers in a van. Gavin screamed at me until I put him in the back of the cart and then he was fine. Crazy kid! Once I got out of the store I unloaded kids and stuff and told the boys to get in their car seats. They decided to sit up front instead and pretend to drive. I don't care about that too much but I already felt like a stupid mom for walking 3 parking stalls away to put the shopping cart away leaving them alone. So I got them into their car seats and filled out the card. Then my van wouldn't start. I tried 3 times and the engine wouldn't turn on. I panicked and called Heath hoping he was able to take the call. He answered and told me to call On Star. "That's why we pay for it!" he said. I really didn't want to do that especially if it meant I was stuck in the parking lot until On Star could send someone out to help me. So I turned off the air conditioning and tried again. The van started and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

We drove to Janelle's apartment to give her my get well wishes and see if she wanted me to take Tori to the park for Park Day. Stephen, Janelle's husband, had taken the day off as I imagined he would and he and Tori were already at the park. So we walked to the park (which is right behind their parking lot) and I really hoped the van would start later. It was nice to see my friends and nice for the boys to play with their friends. Usually Park Day ends around 12:30. We left closer to 1:00. (the van started just fine) Parker fell asleep and didn't wake up when we got home. He slept for 3 hours and ate a large snack at 4:00 since he missed lunch. He did have a cupcake at the park to celebrate Jen and her son David's birthday tomorrow. Parker has eaten less for lunch before!

Our gardeners came to work on our yard today instead of Friday. I thought that was a little strange. I don't know of any reason why they would need to come 2 days early. I'm telling you, today was an off day. They just work out there without bothering us so I didn't care.

I turned on baby shows because I was feeling lazy and self indulgent. Gavin watched a little with me and just hung out with me which was nice. He wanted to watch his shows after mine were done. He never got busy doing anything else so I honored his request. At this point I couldn't care less if we watch TV all night. We are having hot dogs for dinner after eating a late and somewhat non-nutritious lunch. And now the TV is on because I would rather just be with my boys and have us all be happy than try to come up with something better to do. In 10 years will it even matter that today was an off day? I'm sure all we will remember is the love we share as a family.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Ready for Little Sister

Tori came to play this morning while Janelle went to a YW Presidency meeting. Gavin and Parker are so cute with Tori. The three of them play so well together and they get so excited when we pull up to each other's houses. It's very cute.

I love watching Gavin with younger kids. He is so patient and loving. I don't know what Tori was doing today but Gavin was very sweetly telling her no and then he told her he would get some toys she could play with. Then he turned to her and said, "Do you want to come with me?"

I have never worried about how Gavin would react to another baby. He plays the role of big brother very well. I used to worry about Parker who would get jealous of me holding or talking to Cameron (he was our old neighbor and he is a year younger than Parker). Parker seems to have mellowed out a bit. He is interested in babies and he is learning to be soft.

Both boys lovingly put their stuffed animals in the baby's crib and sing lullabies. They are very ready for their baby sister to come. They talk about her all the time. Just watching them play with Tori helps me see the future when they will run around with their little sister. Thanks Janelle and Tori for giving us the chance to practice what it will be like to have a girl in our family!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Daylight Savings Time

Ahhh, the time of year when you get an extra hour of sleep. The mornings are lighter, making it easier to get up and the days are shorter, making you want to snuggle under a blanket in front of a movie or crackling fire. Yeah, I remember those days. It's a dim memory now. Why? Because I have kids.

I used to wake up at 6:10 am, hit snooze, snooze for 10 minutes then kick Heath out of bed, then sleep for another 20-30 minutes. Now I just wake up at 6:00 am to my kids yelling for me to make them breakfast. I lay in bed for 20-30 minutes hoping that if I don't move they'll think I'm asleep and leave me alone. It hasn't happened yet!

They don't seem messed up during the rest of the day. They don't get hungry any faster. Gavin still begs for lunch at 8 in the morning same as before. They don't seem to tire earlier. I have decided that the time change doesn't make the days shorter. In our house the days are now 28 hours long instead of the traditional 24 allotted to the rest of humankind. We live in a time warp continuum of some sort that occasionally experiences extra gravity when one or more of us get clumsy several times in a row!

Friday, November 2, 2007

Is it worth it?



I have experienced round ligament pains with each pregnancy but the third time around it's been more often and more painful. Everything I've read on the subject says it's normal. I'm basically feeling my uterus stretch and grow to accomodate the growing baby inside me. The books say it's harmless pain but can throw some women for a loop. Enter Exhibit A! Admittedly, I have gotten stuck on the couch in so much pain but laughing at the fact that I can't even get up, which makes it all hurt that much more! Luckily that has happened when Heath was there to rescue me. But today I've just been hurting. It's not like I need to change positions because I'm not even lounging around. It started with a cough to get rid of the tickle on the back of my throat. The whole bottom of my stomach (around my C-section scar) was the worst searing pain I have felt in a long time. I swore my scar would rip open and this poor kid would just plop out! As I groaned in pain Parker asked, "Mommy ok?" I told him his baby sister was hurting Mommy's tummy. After about an hour the pain subsided but I feel tired now. I asked myself if it was even worth all the pain I go through to bring people into the world. (I cried for about 5 minutes this morning because of a bad blood sugar reading.) I looked at my boys and decided that yes, despite all the pain whether it be physical or emotional, it's worth it to have my babies.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

I Do It!

This is what I hear all day from Parker. Or the other variation, "Mommy, let go. I do it!" He has become Mr. Independent. And he gets mad if you don't let him do it. He will throw a perfect 2 year old fit if I put him in his car seat. How dare I! He has to climb in himself. And heaven help me if I get him out of the van and put him on the ground. He will climb back in the van, turn around, and climb back out just to prove he can do it. He insists on putting his arms in the sleeves of his shirts without help. He's not good at it so it's frustrating to watch him struggle so much but I'm not allowed to even pull the bottom of the shirt taught so he can more easily get his arm in the armhole.

The fun part is he loves to help in any way he can. Both Gavin and Parker get excited to take lint from the dryer to the garbage. Parker gets his own diaper and wipes if we're downstairs. (He can't reach the top of his closet if we're upstairs.) Parker got all the dirty clothes out of the laundry basket and put them in the washing machine for me. Gavin thought that was cool so he did the next load for me while Parker was napping. The annoying part is they follow me around like lost puppies. They walk out to the garbage with me, usually holding part of the handle on the garbage bag. Parker gets mad if I close the door instead of letting him so he has to open it and close it again. Or slam it so I get the point!

I've been feeling a little obsolete this morning with Parker's insistence that he do everything for me. To make matters worse, Gavin told me that one of his computer games wasn't working and that he was going to tell Dad to fix it. I said I would look at it and try to fix it myself. Gavin told me that only Dad could fix it because he needed to get his tools. I said, "Don't you think I could use Dad's tools to fix it?" Gavin told me, "No, they too heavy for you. When I hold Dad's hammer it's too heavy." (I don't know why Gavin thinks we need any sort of tools to fix anything on the computer.) I'm Just a Girl by No Doubt has been in my head ever since. Who knew my boys would decide they don't need me anymore 9 years before they become teenagers!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A Halloween tradition turned scary

Last post of the day, I promise! There were just too many stories to share and I blog for myself as much as anyone else. Heath and I sort of have a Halloween tradition. We don't do it every year but it's fun when we do. We watch an appropriate Halloween movie on Halloween night like Unbreakable, Alfred Hitchcock's Rebecca, The Village, etc. You get the idea. Well, last night Heath had the brilliant idea of buying Just Like Heaven to watch tonight. It's a romantic comedy set in San Francisco with sort of a ghost theme. I love that movie and have been wanting to watch it for a while now. Heath had a bunch of coupons that he needed to use at Best Buy before they expire next month. He bought the movie and a computer game upgrade for $5. You can't complain there!

I was almost finished putting the boys to bed when Heath called up to me that he was leaving. We told each other that we loved each other (like we always do when one of us leaves) and I told him to be careful (something I used to say a lot but haven't for a long time). I had read the story and sang the songs. Some nights I spend a little time talking about what we will do the next day and some nights I just leave right after the routine. This time I stayed to tell Gavin about how the next day was Halloween. I didn't want to promise he could go trick or treating in case Heath changes his mind. But I talked about the fun of Halloween for a second. Then I leaned over to kiss Gavin goodnight when the floor started shaking. At first I thought Parker was jumping or something but I looked over and he was calmly laying in bed.

I knew then it was an earthquake. I didn't want my kids to get nervous so I sank to my knees and held onto both of their beds (not for my support but to seem like I was there for both of them) and I kept repeating, "It's ok, it's ok." They didn't seem to really even know anything out of the ordinary was going on. But my heart was pounding out of my chest. I have experienced earthquakes before but that was a very strange one. Nothing rattled on the walls and nothing fell off their shelf. The floor was just rhythmically shaking as if I was in a fun house or something. It felt like an eternity but I'm sure it didn't last as long as I thought. I had told my mom 2 minutes when she called to check on us after seeing it on the news. Other people had reported similar times like 1 or 2 minutes duration.

When it was over I was in full panic mode. I was so scared to think my two little boys didn't even know how to protect themselves if it had been worse and I wasn't there. I started barking orders for them to listen to me. I said things like, "If that happens again this is what I want you to do." I told them if their toys weren't falling off the shelf but the floor was shaking to just stay in bed. If the toys were falling off the shelf they were to quickly and safely get to the doorway. Several minutes later after I had left their room, I thought to tell them to just get under their beds knowing they can easily fit under there. I almost can. Then I had them practice. Gavin has always been very mature for his age and a good listener when it's important. So he got to the doorway. Parker is a typical 2 year old and didn't understand what was going on. He ran for the stairs. I called him back and realized there was nowhere he could stand in the doorway with Gavin. So I taught Gavin how to hold his arms up in the doorway and told Parker to hug Gavin. I told Gavin to make sure Parker got to the doorway with him and to hold Gavin around his waist. A lot of responsibility for a 4 year old but I didn't know what else to do. I want them to learn that they need to protect each other anyway.

I let them go back to bed and walked out to the garage to see if Heath was still home. For some reason I imagined he was walking out to his car when the quake hit and he had heard my controlled voice hide my utter panic as I tried to teach our kids what to do. No, his side of the story is he was backing out of the garage when it happened. He didn't know what was happening and thought it was his car. He turned off the engine after he got past the garage door. He had thought maybe it was an earthquake but since it had stopped when he stopped the car and I didn't come running outside he decided not to think much of it. He left to go shopping. He said that you would never know anything had happened. Nobody said anything. The store was crowded but it was all business as usual. He heard the report on KSL's radio station on the way home. A Utah am radio station of all places to hear the info! When he came in I sank into his arms sobbing.

I was never too worried about Heath's safety. I figured he was fine. I was frustrated that I couldn't get a hold of him. At first the cell phone circuits were jammed as everyone tried to call at once. So I waited a while and called but only got his voice mail. I didn't know if he had his phone or left it in the car. It was on vibrate which is why I never heard that it was ringing in our bedroom. I was glad my mom had called. That helped. She told me of the fears she had as a mother of young children. I know my mom was afraid a lot. This is the woman who got many speeding tickets as she sped all over town looking for us if we were late coming home. As a teenager I thought she was overreacting but now I admit I have entertained the thought many times of leaving my sleeping children in bed to go out and look for Heath when he was late coming home from volleyball or basketball and I couldn't get through to him on his cell phone. He always walked in the door right as I was ready to just do it. My mom told me that her two biggest fears were that an earthquake would happen while we were in school and there would be a huge crack in the earth and she couldn't get to us. The other fear was kidnapping.

But we are all fine. No damage from the quake. I was the most rattled by it. And we are all fine. It's just nice to be reminded sometimes that the most important things in life are not things. The only "worldly" items I cherish and would devastated if I lost are my pictures, scrapbooks, and computer files that hold my pictures and written stories of our life. The end of the world could come and all I want are my husband and children to be safe.

The funny part of the story is that last night I helped Heath make dinner. I warmed up the taco shells in the oven. I tried to set the oven timer but forgot that it works in hours and minutes, not minutes and seconds so I put 6 hours on the clock instead of 6 minutes. I hit clear, making me have to reset the oven temperature. Then I set the timer on the microwave. At about 1 in the morning Heath heard the timer going off. At first he thought it was a carbon monixide alarm but after going downstairs he realized it was the oven. He hit clear and decided not to wake me up to gently chastise me! He told me about it this morning. I realized there is a very real chance I never turned off the oven when the shells were done. So I baked nothing all night and scared the pants off my poor husband in the middle of the night. Way to go Westover as Heath always says!