A large Costco sized cereal box sat in the middle of the hall.
Parker: That box has to stay upside down.
Heath: That’s fine but I don’t want it in the hall. Can you move it to your bedroom?
The box was moved. Teeth were brushed. Prayers were said and a story was read. The boys went to their room to climb into bed while Heath went through Gwen’s nightly ritual with her.
Gwen wanted Jessie. But Jessie was nowhere to be found. Heath asked Parker if he knew where Jessie was. With that guilty smirk of his, Parker said he didn’t know. He claimed ignorance several times. Heath touched the upside down cereal box. Parker started to lose his mind.
Parker: Don’t turn that box over! It has to stay upside down!
The box was lifted up and there sat Jessie underneath.
Parker: I told you not to turn the box upside up!
When Heath told me this story I had to laugh. I wasn’t there and hearing it after the fact made it so funny. Parker can be so creative when he lies. But he lies. A lot. And he doesn’t seem to get why he shouldn’t.
Jessie’s hat is another source of contention. It’s too big and falls off constantly. We figured it would be easier all the way around if the hat got put away. Out of mind out of sight sort of philosophy.
Well . . .
Yesterday Parker was talking to me about Jessie’s hat. He kept insisting that she needed her hat and that it was ok if her hat didn’t stay on very well. She still needed it. I was only half listening. That was my first mistake. I said ok at some point in the middle of his persuasive speech. He took that to mean that he could climb over the baby gate in my doorway and get Jessie’s hat on his own. He also turned Buzz Lightyear’s box around after pushing several buttons. He told me all of this later.
I was not amused when he proudly showed me Jessie’s hat. Realizing it was mostly my fault I told him he was not allowed in my room even though he thought I said he could go in there. We quickly moved on. I took the hat back into my room later. I put it back in it’s original resting place; on the floor by my side of the bed, which is on the far side of the room away from the door.
This morning I took Gavin next door to go to school with the neighbors. When I got back Gwen was still in her booster seat waiting for me to finish styling her hair. Parker was very proud of himself for retrieving Jessie’s hat again. I was irritated.
Yesterday was a misunderstanding, I thought. Today was unmistakably disrespectful. There has been a baby gate in our doorway for nearly three years so we can have two rooms in the house where we know little people don’t roam, rifle or pillage through our things. Not to mention the peace that comes with a “safe toilet.” I don’t think it’s too much to ask to have our own adult space free of little children.
I sent Parker to the naughty stair for four minutes. He apologized and hugged me. Then I made my next mistake. I told him to put the hat back in my room stupidly assuming he would toss it over the gate.
The hat was back on the floor by my side of the bed and Buzz was facing forward again. I called Heath who laughed. I did too. It is funny. Just really annoying. The hat is now in the top of my closet, which could be a good and a bad thing if Parker tries to trespass again.
Parker loves to catch other people’s transgressions. I asked Gavin if he was buckled up yet. I could see he was working on it so I put the van into gear. Parker got all upset saying, “I didn’t hear the click! Gavin was lying!”
He also takes his job as self appointed disciplinarian very seriously. This morning he was yelling at Gwen. When I asked what was wrong he said, “She just taked all the crackers out of the cupboard and is eating in the living room.”
This happens all the time. Gwen enjoys her snacks throughout the house.
But this made me laugh. Are you a little hungry Gwen? The graham cracker box was tossed carelessly upstairs in the hall. I didn’t get a picture of that though.
On the way home from the playground, the next door neighbor was washing his truck. When we were about three houses away he put his finger over the hose to spray water all over his truck. Gwen lost her mind. She started crying a loud, desperate, panicked, screaming cry.
Me: What’s wrong?
Gwen: Car. A baff.
Me: Yeah, he’s giving his truck a bath. It’s ok.
Gwen: Car. A baff! Wet!
The nearly incoherent babbling continued as she sobbed the rest of the way home. My neighbor must think we’re nuts. My kids lose their minds every time he’s out. Usually it’s because of his very large and loving St. Bernard dog. That’s understandable because she is bigger than my kids. But hysteria induced by washing a truck? That’s crazy. He told me to stop giving her baths outside with the hose. I laughed. What else could either of us do under the circumstances?
Enjoy the weekend while you attempt to enjoy the humor of every situation.