Phoebe Buffay to Chandler Bing on Friends when she was worried that her trip to the dentist meant someone died.
Standing in front of exactly what I came into Michael’s for, I realize I have no idea how much to buy. I pulled out my trusty cell phone and called Heath. Four rings then voicemail. I left a message. Then went about my shopping. My phone never rang so I guessed 27 feet of star spangled garland would be enough to make a fun pencil topper for 25 first graders. Why not? It was $1 for every 9 feet. I also bought Parker and Gwen some stuffed animals that I thought were $1 each but turned out to be $2 each. Whatever. They were happy and thought I was the best mom ever for being such a pushover.
We finished our shopping at Office Max where I bought pencils and red duct tape. Once we got home I called Heath. Four rings and voicemail. I hung up thinking that was a little weird. If he’s in a meeting he hits the ignore button. He doesn’t let the phone ring until voicemail picks up. Over the next few hours I called him a few more times all with the same results.
I know I was the inspiration for Garbage’s song I Think I’m Paranoid. I tried to shake off any worrisome thoughts figuring there had to be a good explanation. I checked the bedroom to be sure Heath’s phone wasn’t actually ringing or vibrating on his nightstand. No phone. I tried not to think much of it by emailing his phone the subject line “You must be busy”.
He never responded. As hard as I tried I could not get images of him in a car accident on the Bay Bridge out of my head. This is me. Hi, I’m a worrier. It’s the job I signed up for. And I am good at my job. I thought of how he used to referee church basketball and volleyball games. He always told me not to worry until a certain time, usually 10:00 0r 11:00 pm. The time would come and the door wasn’t opening. I would give him 15-30 minutes before grabbing my keys and hoping the kids didn’t die in their sleep while I went to find Heath’s body splattered all over the road. Heath always came home before I left. He always apologized and then laughed at me for worrying so much.
The more I thought about the silent treatment of this day the more strange I thought it all was. He didn’t leave his phone here. He never ignores me even when he’s busy. The four rings to voicemail told me his phone was charged. I wondered if maybe his email feature was out again but even if it was, I had tried calling and emailing with no response. Something wasn’t right and I didn’t want to imagine why.
My last ditch effort was to email him again. I didn’t want to come off crazy and paranoid but I also couldn’t figure out what was happening. We weren’t in a fight as far as I knew! I’m the one who starts all of those anyway. So I asked him to email me a hi or something just so I knew he was ok. I hit send and headed out the door to pick up Gavin.
I checked all my text messages on my phone even though we don’t pay for that feature. I had three of them! Apparently my sister has a new number. I’ll have to write that one down when I figure out how to retrieve it. I don’t use my cell phone! Then I put my phone in my pocket just in case.
When I got home I went straight for the computer to see if I still had a husband. There it was. The email. He said he had left his phone in his car. I had suggested that. While he drove in to the office today the car was in a garage parked by valet and not really convenient to get to unless he was ready to go home. He said he checked his phone email via the Internet (didn’t know he could do that) and saw I had been trying to get a hold of him. He apologized.
Unfortunately, all my craft supplies are still sitting on a table waiting for me to do something with them before Gavin takes them to school tomorrow morning.