Sunday, August 8, 2010

Does that molehill have snow on it?

Overreacting.  That’s what I do best.  This weekend was no exception. 

I knew I had a lot on my plate this weekend.  In fact, I thought one of my responsibilities was last Saturday so I went ahead and panicked about that last week!  But when I reread the email I realized my mistake in the date and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. 

My responsibilities this weekend were plentiful and overwhelming.  Sometimes my instructions were vague.  Other times I seemed to be needed in two places at once.  In all that was required of me everyone knew I was in charge.  I didn’t feel ready to be in charge. 

Heath told me many times to take it one day at a time and one activity/responsibility at a time.  Don’t you hate when your spouse is right?

After a workout with Julio, I had a new mindset.  I stopped worrying so much about the enormity of the whole picture and started focusing on each step as it came up.  This allowed me to appreciate each moment for what it was rather than anxiously anticipate my next move. 

I thought I had analyzed the ever present element of surprise.  Until a real surprise actually hit me like a ton of bricks. 

Parker. 

I came home from a convert baptism of a child in our Primary a little after 1:00 pm and found Parker asleep on the couch.  Mother’s intuition freaked out while flashes of moments from this summer bombarded my mind.  The sleepiness.  The unexplained crankiness.  The times he seems to use the bathroom more than normal.  Every moment seemed to have a logical explanation. 

While he had gone to a fun Primary water activity that morning, the activity was only one hour.  There didn’t seem to be any reason why he should be zonked on the couch before we had even eaten lunch. 

So I checked his blood sugar – 168.  Not alarmingly high but certainly out of range for a non diabetic.  Heath tried to calm me down by saying Parker had fruit snacks 45 minutes earlier.  I knew he had at least two otter pops at the water activity over an hour earlier.  Fine.  Maybe it wasn’t out of his system yet. 

We went to TGIFriday’s for lunch.  The boys had earned free kids meals by reading 20 hours in the library’s summer reading program.  Parker ordered the highest carb lunch I think he could have picked.  He didn’t eat all of his macaroni and cheese.  But he did drink a lot of strawberry lemonade and he ate all of his fruit.  Tons of sugar in his system. 

Two hours after we finished eating I checked his blood sugar again – 209.  I cried.  And cried.  Every time I thought I was done I cried some more.  Sunday’s responsibilities in Primary were no longer a concern in my mind.  Parker was all I could think about. 

Heath and I had an argument over it.  He told me that maybe the numbers didn’t mean anything.  I yelled at him that it doesn’t work that way.  He was trying to tell me I was jumping to conclusions and that I’m not a doctor.  I thought I knew exactly what was happening and I didn’t want to wait until Parker’s immunization appointment on Friday to inform the doctor’s office. 

The next two hours were spent mourning.  I didn’t blame myself.  I wasn’t scared.  I just knew what it all meant.  I always hoped if any of my kids had to get diabetes that they could be much older. 

I checked Parker’s blood sugar one more time before dinner – 112.  The high end of normal for a non diabetic.  I stared at the number and didn’t know what to think.  In all honesty, I was annoyed that Heath was right.  I hate when he’s right!  So I tried to continue the emotional turmoil inside by telling myself it was a little strange that Parker finally came into range four hours after eating. 

This morning I got a fasting reading on him – 84.  Totally in range.  Huh.  Now what?  I really hate when Heath is right!  I really really do! 

When Parker sat on my lap in Sacrament Meeting and told me he was sleepy I couldn’t help but wish I had an extra lancet with me to test him again.  I asked if he was really tired or if he was just bored.  Just bored, he said.  Ok, that’s what I thought . . . but still. 

For now the plan is to bring this up with the nurse on Friday when Parker is getting the rest of his immunizations and hopefully not getting another infection from it!  I have three blood glucose meters, approximately 400 lancets, and thankfully a huge stock pile of test strips.  If I decide to freak out again I can always test his blood sugar and call the doctor. 

It’s funny how I worried about one thing this weekend and got over that by worrying about Parker.  But it seems Parker is ok for now.  Not to worry.  (no pun intended)  I am a master at creating mountains out of molehills.  Molehills so big they are capped with snow! 

3 thoughts:

Dawn said...

Thank goodness. I know you are hyper sensitive about diabetes since you have dealt with if for so long but it is a good idea not to project. Why don't you use this as an opportunity to test Heath's levels too. It would be good to see the normal ups and downs that everyone goes through. ( you are welcome, Heath)Just my unasked for two cents.

Ray Colon said...

Hi Tristan,

After reading this I'm going to take a wild guess here: This isn't the first time that this scenario has been played out, is it? I can't say that I blame you for reacting to the readings the way that you did. I would probably take your husband's approach on the outside, but my insides would be leaning in your direction. Generally, I tend to wait until bad news is confirmed before stressing out, but when we're talking about our children, the calm facade can easily go out of the window. I'm glad that it appears to have been a false alarm, and I hope that future hints of trouble are few and far between. Ray

The Piquant Storyteller said...

Dawn, I love your idea! Heath raised his eyebrows and didn't look convinced.

Ray, thanks for your comment. My husband and I balance either out really well. We keep each other's feet on the ground in different ways.

And yes, we have been on this road before. In fact, it was on August 7, 2007 that I took my Parker to a well child check up. Two days later he was tested for diabetes but the results were negative. I realized the similarity in dates when I looked up the lab results in Parker's scrapbook to see the normal range.

I hope it's nothing but me being the excessive worrier that I am but my mom is a nurse and she agrees with me that it's better to look into this and know now if something is wrong. There is no reason why someone needs to go through the months of insatiable thirst and incessant urinating if they don't have to. Sluggishness and intense emotions like super crabiness are also symptoms.