Schedules. I either love them or hate them. Today I hate my schedule. I hate not having a moment to call my own. I hate that I haven’t had a chance to put contacts in or do my hair until now. So I’m not going to do it because who cares at this point!
I hate that my blood sugars are high most of the time and when they’re not high they’re super sonic low. It’s because of my new crappy schedule that my body isn’t used to plus the added stress of . . . I don’t know, my life I guess.
I thought I had a handle on school. But some days throw me for a loop. Yesterday I got through the afternoon and was congratulating myself for not losing it when a church thing came up. I just want to scream, “I am only one person! I can’t do it all!”
It’s ok. I will survive. A lot of strange things are happening right now that are completely out of the norm. It’s ok. I will survive.
Tomorrow I have all good intentions of letting Steven grace my bedroom again with his cartoon trainer – ness. It’s been over a week since we’ve sweat together. My gut is starting to show it. Hopefully he is understanding when I tell him I’ve been ignoring him because of a horrible cold that completely zapped my energy. But he’s a cartoon with programmed things to say like “You missed a week of your 6 week challenge. You won’t finish in time.” And I can be like, “Listen cartoon dude I call Steven, you’re a cartoon and I can toss your Wii CD butt out the window if I want to! It’s 6:00 am let’s go.”
Exercise. Maybe that’s what is missing from my life. At least I still have cleaning. Yesterday I cleaned my house for a meeting I had this morning. Heath called to say he was almost home and he asked how I was doing. I told him that the thought of being in control of the dirt in our house was soothing to me. Everything else feels so out of my control but I can control whether or not the house gets clean. It’s the little things that mean the most.
I spent almost an hour talking to a friend today after dropping Parker off at school. Maybe she needed that. Although it stressed me out when another friend suggested we do a play date at the park after school. I suggested before school (pm kindergarten) since Gwen naps after school. Then the conversation turned to nap schedules for one year olds. Can I play after school? Yes I can but it means Gwen will be all ramped up for the night and will have a hard time going to bed and the boys will fight with me all night over homework.
Sticking to the schedule is important to me.
By the way, I spoke too soon about Parker’s homework. He came home with 9 worksheets yesterday to be turned in on Thursday. What is it about giving piles of boring busy work to kindergarteners? He was fine with it for the most part. I’m sure that soon a homework routine will emerge among the boys.
Somehow the craziness of running the Primary without a president will sort itself out soon. Somehow I will find the time and energy to exercise again. Somehow my blood sugars will resume their former awesomeness. Somehow I will be able to balance my chores, playing with Gwen, and the chatty moms at school. Sometime soon it will all fall into place. For now I am whining. I’m sorry. My cape is at the cleaners so I will Super Mom another day. Maybe my cape will be back by Friday. I have a date that night!