Let’s wrap up the cliffhangers with a complicated twisty turn-y kind of story. It may take a few posts to get the whole thing out especially since I honestly don’t know where to start. Here, let’s do it this way . . .
The surprise 6 months in the making is that we went to Disneyland for Christmas (or the week of Christmas). I know so many people who announce nonchalantly that they are going to Disneyland that day or the next day or whatever time frame seems incredibly spur of the moment as if they just woke up and decided to drop a couple thousand dollars on a last minute trip to Disneyland. I wanted to be that person for once.
Instead of Christmas this year we decided to spend our money on Disneyland. The secret is we started planning this in the summer. The idea of having a Westover family reunion at Disneyland was probably conceived soon after our trip to Disneyland in March. Keeping it a secret on this blog was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. The worst part was I couldn’t cathartically blog about:
#2 (not a cliffhanger)
My agoraphobia has reached such intense proportions that I am looking forward to talking to a mental health professional for real help. How to begin with this part of the story . . . I don’t know. I lost five pounds in two weeks because I hardly ate anything and most of the time when I did I puked. Normally I would be excited to have lost that much weight but knowing what an unhealthy relationship I had with food and knowing I was sabotaging myself and my blood sugars made me really hate myself. My new jeans are getting too big and all I could do was look in the mirror and think I look emaciated. Kind of stupid when you consider I still have about 10 or 15 lbs. to go. My mind was really messed up for a long time. Normal people do not throw up then slam down a piece of pizza to keep their blood sugar up after vomiting!
It was the longest most intense panic attack I have ever experienced. The day before we left I cried all day in between vomitous trysts with the toilet, hating myself for being so too scared to even put clothes in a bag for the vacation of a lifetime. My mom recommended ibuprofen to calm down. I had no idea ibuprofen could do that but it worked. Whether it was my head believing it (I’m very superstitious) or it really works I don’t care. I was able to get everything ready to go and I even managed to get the house clean before we left. And as expected I was fine as soon as we got there. I need help. I have known this for a long time but this panic attack pushed me over the edge. I cannot put my family through this again. Heath said that if we ever move he’s not going to tell me until the movers show up! I thought that was a wise decision since I made myself sick before we moved to California then slept most of the way out of self defense.
After a wet time at Disneyland (it poured rain the first three days) and a lot of fun it was time to come home. As if we hadn’t had enough adventure already we were in a car accident. We left Glendale, CA around 8:30 am, were in the accident sometime after 9:00 am in Castaic, CA and finally left Castaic after 2:00 pm, the time we expected to be home on Christmas Eve. Instead we were home around 7:00 pm. The grocery stores were all closed by then so Heath picked up milk from Walgreens.
Christmas has been very enjoyable and a very welcome break from the obsessive thoughts of the frustrating, unavoidable car accident. My house is a disaster area since Christmas exploded. It’s amazing how many presents we had to open considering we weren’t doing Christmas this year. But Santa came and family also hooked us up and the kids bought each other some really great toys from Disneyland. They were not allowed to buy anything for themselves.
We realize how blessed we are to have the gospel in our lives. We were so blessed that the accident wasn’t worse. We all walked away from it relatively unharmed. Santa’s cookies didn’t fare so well. At least we can laugh at the humor of the cookie casualties.
So there you go. That’s what has been happening around here in a nutshell. I am not pregnant. I love that Jenni thought I might be! I was trying to stir the pot before finally blogging it all out. How did I do?