Down a dark dark ramp . . . there is a dark dark room . . . through the dark dark room there is an even darker room . . . in the even darker room there is
a library. Complete with a neon Exit sign and everything.
Inside the library there is a
fireplace. This keeps the room warm and it keeps the room from being too dark. On top of the fireplace is a picture of a prince. But he was arrogant and selfish so a witch put a spell on him and now he’s a hideous beast. He’s still pretty mean so really we shouldn’t be in here. Shh . . .
Across from the fireplace is a dark dark corner. In the dark dark corner there is
an enchanted book. The enchanted book asks enchanted questions that tell you which character you are most like.
Cogsworth is in an enchanted mirror that takes your picture. This mirror only takes pictures. It does not tell you who is the fairest in the land. Unless my mirror lied . . .
Anyway, the book has an enchanted bookmark with enchanted pictures to touch to answer questions. Once all the questions are answered the character you are most like is revealed. A list of characteristics are also listed. It’s eerily perceptive.
Parker was Flick (Main character in A Bug’s Life)
Gavin was Jane (cute British girl in Tarzan) Gavin swears he touched the sir picture instead of the mademoiselle picture. Hmmm . . . Other than him being most like a girl the other characteristics were spot on. Maybe Gavin is a male version of Jane.
I was Mulan (Main character in Mulan – one of two Disney movies I cannot stand! The other is Pocahontas because it is so obnoxiously historically inaccurate.) Despite my animosity toward Mulan the characteristics actually described me really well. The one that sticks out in my mind is the one that said I would do anything to protect my family. True. I have done some crazy things to protect my family.
Heath was Jiminy Cricket (wise friend in Pinocchio)
Gwen was Maleficent (evil witch in Sleeping Beauty) You can’t make this stuff up! I think what happened here was that Gwen insisted on touching the pictures herself. So when the question was asked, “Would you rather eat lunch with nice people or eat nice people for lunch?” Gwen chose to eat nice people. All these weeks later and I’m still laughing about that one.
We had to quickly leave the dark dark room because
Maleficent er Gwen was having an evil tantrum. Lucky for us the Beast did not find out we were in his library so all was well. But I heard the spell was broken when some pretty girl fell in love with him. I’m just not sure why Cogsworth and Lumiere didn’t change back to their original selves. Anyway, this concludes the dark dark tale. The End.