Monday, March 21, 2011

Idiot Sightings

Mondays can be rough so I thought I’d pass along an email sent by a friend.  I hope it brings a smile to your face!

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back."  She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it
's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi

They walk among us... and the scary part is that they VOTE and

4 thoughts:

Ray Colon said...

Hi Tristan,

Some of these were good, but some others, the last one in particular, seem made up, but what are you going to do? It's a forwarded Email, right?

The cashier story is one that I've experienced many times. In my case, I'm usually trying to return some money because I have received too much change. (Gotta keep the good karma flowing, you know). Often, their first reaction is to say that I'm wrong, so I have to convince them to take their money back. The looks on their faces when they finally get it is priceless. Most say "thank you" but there have been some that just took the cash and shrugged.

Then there are the stories where I have a "duh" moment of my own, but we don't need to get into any of those. :)


The Piquant Storyteller said...

Hi Ray,

I want to hear your "duh" moments! It can't be any worse than a 6 foot pot! :)

Dawn said...

Thank you for the laugh out loud moments. I beleive everyone of them. After all I teach middle school. Which, come to think of it, make be the biggest dah of them all.

The Piquant Storyteller said...

You're welcome, Dawn! It made my day too.