Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What’s a 5 letter word for funny?

GSN has a game show called Lingo, where contestants guess 5 letter words for cash and hope to get 5 balls in a row on their Lingo board for more cash.  The Lingo board resembles a Bingo board with numbers.  Chuck Woolery used to host the show because he used to host every game show.  The token bimbo was some girl with a forced British accent and an out of proportion chest to skinny body ratio.  I’m sure she really was British but it was like she over exaggerated her accent and it really drove me crazy. 

They replaced that girl with some 20 year old blond who dressed up a lot considering all she did was sit at a desk pushing a button on a laptop to reveal the first letter of a new word to the contestants.  I guess she flirted a lot with Chuck too.  The British Chipee stood the whole time in her 5 inch heels and her painted on shiny lamay dresses.  She smiled through her tipsy short walks and held onto Chuck’s arm really tight.  The new girl seemed like she had more going on upstairs in her mind than the British Chipee.  I didn’t mind her so much.  She was alright as far as token guy candy is concerned. 

Now Lingo has revised itself once again.  It is hosted by my comedic hero, Mr. Bill Engvall.  When I saw promos saying he was the new host I thought that was interesting.  He seems to try periodically to crack his way into acting without much success.  I have never been able to stomach an entire 20 minute long episode of any sitcom he’s been on.  The stories were always so painful to watch.  How funny could he be as the host of a game show involving 5 letter words?  His buddy, Jeff Foxworthy, is a pretty successfully entertaining host on “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?”  Maybe Bill would be ok on Lingo.  It was worth checking out anyway. 

Heath and I don’t spend a lot of time watching GSN.  It was a fluke thing we even saw the promo for the new Lingo.  But it’s one of our favorite game shows when we do watch because it’s a nice challenge for our minds to solve the words along with the contestants.  If you’ve never seen Lingo I suggest you try it now with Bill Engvall.  You can call in dead to your trainer the next day from splitting your sides laughing.  Hilarious doesn’t even begin to describe what has happened to Lingo. 

I don’t know how contestants are chosen for game shows.  I like to assume they pick people who have a general understanding of the game along with a charismatic personality.  Apparently this is no longer the case.  The producers of Lingo take just about anyone with a face and a voice.  Intelligence is not necessary.  Nor is attractiveness.  Contestants look and act exactly like bus stop patrons after a shower.  I would say they’re Cops or Parking Wars rejects but that gives off the wrong impression.  These new contestants are the classic wannabes from high school.  Ever wonder what happened to some of the kids in your class?  They’re on Lingo in unflattering outfits making fools of themselves and shaming English teachers everywhere. 

The new contestants clearly never watched Lingo before.  Chuck Woolery brought a certain playboy aspect to the show but the words stayed simple and innocent.  Now it seems as if the producers are going for more racy content and the contestants are guessing the most inappropriate words possible.  The problem is they’ve changed the rules of the game a little.  There is now a riddle clue to go along with the first letter of the word.  Before the first letter of the puzzle came up and people would guess 5 letter words from there.  Now they have the clue in the back of their mind distracting them from sound strategy.  And the racy clues along with the first letter get a lot of words guessed that don’t need to be said out loud, much less spelled incorrectly on my TV screen!  Don’t the contestants realize the words are simple and not inappropriate? 

So here’s Bill Engvall manning the show solo.  No cheerleader type or beauty queen at his side to banter with.  He gets the salt of the earth who think they’re cool and do belly bumps instead of chest bumps any time anything happens.  If you remember, Bill Engvall is the “Here’s Your Sign” guy.  Watch Bill’s face turn beet red as he tries to maintain composure and keep his “signs” to himself.  He does a good job.  All variables combine for 30 minutes of side splitting laughter where you can feel good about skipping your workout the next day because you’ve burned your quota of calories. 

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