Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Our Bill of Rights

We the People of the Westover Family, in Order to form a more perfect Family Union, establish Justice with a Mom and Dad in charge, insure domestic Tranquility with impromptu slumber parties, provide for the common defense with Nerf guns, promote the general Welfare with Diet Coke, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Westover Family.
I hereby credit my license to practice creativity and of course the Preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America
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Westover Bill of Rights

1.  All members of the Westover Family have the right to sleep in on Independence Day thus forgetting about attending any local parades to celebrate and commemorate our country’s Independence from England. 

2.  Those members who use Devon or Stephanie Juliana as Wii trainers have the right to skip their scheduled workout.  After all, it is a holiday and the house is hot and Devon can kiss a cow.

3.  All have the right to wear patriotic colors and recreate patriotic hairstyles. 

birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-009birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-014 The right to never do the style again with knobby buns or not is advised.

4.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-005birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-015 Each is entitled to the right to aspire to filling large shoes.

5.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-021birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-025
birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-022 birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-039birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-042
Play, laugh, hold one’s breath under water, eat melting popsicles, bask in the sun with plenty of sunscreen for the great outdoors are inalienable rights critical to the pursuit of happiness.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-049

6.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-057birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-038birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-094birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-092  The right of the people to keep and bear arms will not be infringed.  Nor will the right to shoot at other members of the family as well as toy targets be infringed, provided the ammunition is a soft missile from Nerf. 

7.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-077 The right to crave and drink Diet Coke socially will always be upheld as will the right to participate in barbaric burping contests. 

8.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-098  If members of the family play so hard and have so much fun together that time flies and the thought of grilling sounds like too much effort in the heat of the day, the right to eat whatever one deems easiest at 8:00 pm will not be judged.  Especially considering hot dogs, chili, and chips are about as American as it gets. 

9.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-103birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-107birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-110  When the local county fair refuses to light fireworks on the 4th of July because of past riffraff that spoiled the festivities for everyone, all maintain the right to participate in family traditions specific to the Westover Family i.e. launching rocket balloons into the front yard tree while being eaten alive by mosquitos then watching the fireworks “live” on TV in Washington DC. 

10.  birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-125 birthday-surprise-and-4th-of-July-128 Creativity is also an inalienable right.  Children may sleep on top of sleeping bags in the front room as if they are sleeping under the stars since the giraffe tent no longer suits this purpose due to offspring growing like weeds.  The next morning children may sleep past 9:00 am for the first time in years and Mom has the right to rejoice exceedingly before making pancakes. 

This concludes the Westover Family Bill of Rights, which incidentally contains ten amendments just as the original Bill of Rights to the United States Constitution. 

I hope everyone enjoyed the 4th of July.  We sure did!  

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