Weird Al Yankovic wrote a really fun book.
This is the cutest book with the most creative ideas and I love the ending. After reading the book again to the kids last night they wanted to make their own books about what they want to be when they grow up.
They are in love with this They Might Be Giants CD and DVD. Between the ideas in these songs and the ideas in the book, they are having a blast coming up with potential jobs.
It’s got me thinking too. When I grow up what do I want to be? A butcher, a baker, or a candlestick maker? Should I live in a shoe? Or sail around in a tub? I want to fly in a rocket ship to outer space and teach the aliens. That would be cool. Maybe I can pixilate myself and join Gavin in one of his computer games, Tron Legacy style. Or be a princess for a day with Gwen. It would be fun to be a reporter and write an award winning article about Parker the Paleontologist Digging in the Dirt.
When I grow up I want to be a meteorologist. Did you know they travel in tribes? I would be the Chief Meteorologist. This is the best job because it’s ok if I’m wrong. And I can take credit for the weather as if I have anything to do with it other than reporting it on TV. I can act surprised by the weather. “It’s unseasonably cool for May with possible rain showers.” Meanwhile all the mothers are at home thinking, “It’s the last few weeks of school. Of course it’s cold and rainy. The only time it hasn’t been this way is when I didn’t have kids in school.”
I want to be a professor at a college for obscure jobs, like lion tamer or or the person who melts the metal to make coins. I mostly want this job so I can figure out how someone even applies to these positions. Like the person who is the voice on answering machines and voicemail. Don’t tell me it’s computerized. That takes all the fun out of it. I think it would be a cool job. “You have two new messages.” Even if it is computerized someone had to write the script for all those robocalls, automated systems, and GPS devices in cars. “Turn left here. No, you are an idiot. Turn left here. Your other left.” Those robocalls are the worst though right? Why not be honest and play a snippet of Paper Planes by M.I.A. “All I want to do is take your money!” Then the computerized voice can admit the organization is too cheap to pay a real person to talk to you.
Do you ever feel like there are too many people who aspire to be doctors and lawyers when we need other jobs filled like reality show creator? Or underwater welder? Or who are the textile printers? Cotton doesn’t automatically come with a repeating monkey pattern. And who spins the wool for angora sweaters? Who assembles medical supplies, or at least performs quality control? Who captures the animals to be featured in zoo exhibits and how much do they make? Does their pay come with dental benefits? I want to figure out how one applies to be a scientist to improve Tide. And who tests out sleeping bags so they can display the temperature range the sleeping bag will keep you warm at? I want to meet the team who creates glue. The glue section at the craft store is overwhelming with choices.
What do you want to be when you grow up?